


Helianthus

by kurocchihime



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, First Love, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, No for real this is really slow, Reader overthinks A LOT, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, also this is slow, definitely not love at first sight, fem!reader - Freeform, have i mentioned this is slow, if you havent guessed it yet this is slow, slow and fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:09:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurocchihime/pseuds/kurocchihime
Summary: You wanted to tell them that you'd never had a person like Bokuto in your life. Someone you admired and looked up to.You wanted to tell them that you never expected for someone like Bokuto to exist in this world, someone who was sitting right next to you, yet you felt to be even more distant to than the stars in the nightsky. Someone who always looked upwards, growing and growing, always facing the sun.You wanted to tell them that he was the first person you felt safe and comfortable with when showing your vulnerabilities.You wanted to tell them so many things and yet somehow you couldn't bring yourself to.So you just stupidly smiled. "A friend. That's what Bokuto is to me."
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou & Reader, Bokuto Koutarou/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 98





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first fanfiction here, I hope ya guys are able enjoy it ;v;

It had all led up to this moment.

As the buzzer chimed through the gym hall and the cheers of the people beside you grew louder and louder, you looked down onto the player with the imprinted number four on his red Japanese national team uniform. You noticed how his fingers curled, forming fists. He turned around searching the crowd, his golden colored eyes wide, finally stopping as they met yours. You couldn't help but realize that the young man's lips were trembling. You knew this expression all too well.

And suddenly everything around and within yourself seemed so overwhelming. The familiar smell of the overcrowded gym - the smell of cooling spray, sweat and anticipation that has been ingrained into your mind. The high pitched sound of the sneakers squeaking against the gym floor slowly fading out as the game had just ended. The feeling of having a lump stuck in your throat that left you speechless. All that was almost painfully overbearing as you couldn't stop your eyes from tearing up.

A single moment.  
It had all led up to this single moment.

*** 

"The Devil agreed to the bet and Faust spoke: When I say to the moment flying: 'Linger a while - thou art so fair!'" You felt your eyelids growing heavier and heavier as your hand gave it's best trying to support the weight of your head.  
"Then bind me in thy bonds undying," second by second your vision got blurrier, telling your brain that it might be time to finally send you off to dreamland.  
"And my final ruin I will BEAR." You jumped at the textbook hitting the desk you were sitting at, just a few inches away from where your head was. Bye bye dreamland, hello reality. Or rather hello Mr Angered Literature Teacher whose name you could, or rather didn't want to, remember.

"While I do appreciate that you must find my lessons quite relaxing, I must ask you to please refrain from falling asleep in them. Especially at the beginning of the semester, (L/N)-san."  
You heard giggles erupting around you in the classroom as you looked up at the teacher who had just mistreated your poor desk with his rolled up textbook. You rubbed the back of your neck. A small "I'm sorry" escaped your lips before the teacher continued walking his rounds through the classroom, reading out of his textbook.

You let out a quiet sigh. Realizing how the teacher took notice of it, scanning your face across the room once again for any signs of sleepiness, you flinched and quickly grabbed a pencil, pretending to be taking notes. What a sharp guy. You bit your tongue to stop yourself from letting out another sigh.  
You lifted your head, looking out of the window. Outside you were able to see students setting up various club booths in preparation to get more first years to join their clubs. You were a second year so it wasn't anything new. Your attention was caught by a sign two students were currently setting up. "Join the Fukurodani Volleyball Club", was written on it with bold, black letters. You looked back into your notebook at the scribbles you made onto the almost blank page. Your grip around your pen tightened as you tried to brush off the slight feeling frustration you didn't want to admit was lingering in your chest.

Just when would it finally be lunchtime?

As much as time passed painfully slow, your schedule for the day soon reached it's end. You stretched out on your chair. "Hey, (Y/N)!"  
At the sound of someone calling out to you, you turned your head to the person who the voice belonged to. A girl standing at the door, stepping into the classroom. You felt a sense of relief at the sight of your friend who decided to stop by from another class.  
"Shira. I was looking for you at lunch break, but couldn't find you. Figured you might have stayed at home or something."  
She scratched the back of her head. "Sorry... I should have told you that I had a meeting with the members of the Tennis club."  
At her statement you pouted. "You could have at least texted me, you know." You finished packing your bag and stood up from your chair.

"Mr Anger Issue beat up my poor desk with his textbook... Again."  
Shira's lips curled into a smile. "Mr Anger Issue? You mean Ito-sensei, the literature teacher?"  
You grabbed your bag. "You know I'm bad with names, Shira." You walked towards the exit of the classroom, your friend following you with a cheeky grin.  
"You've had him in literature since first year, though."  
You shuddered at the thought of how often Ito-sensei had been beating his textbook onto your desk to pull you out of dreamland. You were almost surprised that it didn't have a dent yet.  
"Don't remind me of such scary facts... I just want to go home already to catch onto some sleep."  
You stretched once again, letting a yawn escape your lips. Your sleep schedule has been all over the place, lately. Mostly because of procrastinating the whole day and then still having to finish homework at night.

"Yeah, about that..." Shira's pace slowed down. "Actually I still got club practice. I came by to let you know that I wouldn't be able to go home with you."  
You made a halt, eyes widened in surprise. "Club practice? It's only the second day of the semester, why do you already have club practice?!"  
Shira sighed. "It's probably more of a meeting than practice since we weren't able to finish the one we had at lunch break. We have to prepare for the new incoming first years in some way, after all."  
You stared at your friend before turning away again. A small "hmm" was the only comment you made when picking up the pace towards the school exit. Shira quickly followed you.  
You knew how much she loved her club. So you couldn't really get angry at her for letting you go home by yourself.

"Why don't you join any clubs, (Y/N)? I mean aren't you the only one in second year who has yet to join one?"  
You finally reached the shoe lockers and exhaled. "Well..."  
You thought about it for a moment. Why didn't you join any clubs?  
Trying to find a reason, as if in a flashback your brain spouted out a specific sentence, almost trying to mock you of your past.

_"Aren't you trying too hard?"_

You stared at your shoes before getting them out of the locker and slipping them on. And once again there was this feeling of frustration you didn't want to admit to.  
"There's nothing I'm really passionate about. So there is no reason to join a club, is there?"  
You placed your indoor shoes in locker and closed it. "Anyways, I'll be heading home. Have fun at your meeting or practice or whatever."  
A bit shaken by your abrupt change of mood, Shira waved at you. "Thank you, (Y/N). And you be careful not to get yourself kidnapped going home alone, okay?"  
You laughed at her comment as you left the building. "I can't make any promises."

You turned around, facing forward as you took a deep breath of the fresh afternoon air. It smelled like cherry blossoms. Almost as if your lungs thanked you for replacing the classroom air inside of them with fresh one, you felt your whole body becoming lighter. You made your way towards the school gates, stepping past the club booths that students were currently taking apart, as the day was coming to it's end.

Hey, isn't that the one?" You heard a girl talking. Assuming she wasn't talking about you, you remained unbothered, thinking about whether you should go grab a snack on your way home.  
You remembered Shira once talking about a new café that opened, which was just on the way to the train station. She talked about how the softbaked chocolate chip cookies there were heavenly. The thought made your mouth water. 'Might as well grab one for her, too and give it to her tomorrow since she is working so hard on her club stuff,' you thought, when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned around to see that the hand belonged to a girl with tan-colored hair that was tied up in a ponytail. Freckles covered her cheeks and she smiled at you.

"You're (L/N) (Y/N) from class 2-4, right?"  
Before answering you looked behind her to see another, shorter girl with reddish brown hair. She was standing beside a club booth with the sign spelling out "Join the Fukurodani Volleyball Club".  
'Nevermind getting Shira a cookie...', you thought, trying yet again to hold back that feeling of frustration welling up inside of you.

'I might need to spend my money on a few more cookies for myself.'


	2. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) seems quite cold towards the managers of the Fukurodani Volleyball Club. Obviously it isn't their fault though! After all they are just trying their best to find a new manager for their team. Unfortunately this just makes (Y/N) remembering things she wishes she forgot.

Adrenaline was rushing through your body as your coach signaled the referee that the team would be having a time out. When turning towards her you felt the stinging pain in your ankle. And yet the adrenaline made it somewhat bearable.  
"You have to go to the infirmary, (L/N). Look at your ankle. It's swollen red." She grabbed the cooling spray, shaking it vigorously before spraying it onto your ankle. You sharply inhaled at the feeling of the ice cold spray hitting your skin. In the heat of the moment you almost instantly replied.  
"I can still play!" Your coach sighed at that comment.  
"You are putting your health at risk, (L/N). If you don't do anything about this, it will get worse. And all just because of a game."  
Your body almost instinctively shouted at her last sentence.  
"It's not just a game."  
But just as quickly as you let out your opinion, she let out hers.  
"It is."

Your heart was still beating like crazy from the game you desperately tried to save. You were on your second set after losing the first, still clearly far behind the enemy team's score.  
You balled your fists, trying to ignore your ankle pulsating in pain.  
"But didn't you see how I was still able to save that ball?!" You turned towards your team members who were clearly avoiding your gaze.  
"Why didn't anyone reach out for it? I can and will save every ball for you guys! I just need you to do the rest! So we can win!" You felt tears welling up in your eyes. At this moment you weren't sure whether it was because of the pain or because of the thought of losing without having done anything against it.  
"And I can continue playing! I can go on as long as you guys also do!"

No response. Just mumbling between your teammates. You bit your lip in frustration. Feeling a hand being placed onto your shoulder, you looked up to the team captain who it belonged to.  
"We already lost anyways. Look at the difference in points. There is no way we can win." You jumped up, looking the captain into her eyes. You felt determined. But you also felt a bit upset about the comment she just made.  
"That's not true! We still have a chance to win this! We just have to try! Try and give it our all!"  
She sighed and let go of your shoulder, scratching the back of her neck.  
"(Y/N), can I be honest with you?" She looked at you with a hint of annoyance in her eyes.

_"Don't you think you're trying too hard?_

***

"You're (L/N) (Y/N) from class 2-4, right?"  
Before answering you looked behind her to see another, shorter girl with reddish brown hair. She was standing beside a club booth with the sign spelling out "Join the Fukurodani Volleyball Club".  
You turned towards the school gates and replied to her, before she could continue.

"Not interested."  
The freckled girl let go of your shoulder and jumped in front of you before you could make an escape. She was a bit annoyed.  
"Hey there, I haven't told you yet what it's about." You looked into her gray-blue eyes before avoiding them once again.  
You weren't very good with keeping eye contact. Nor were you good with words, making it hard for you to socialize with other people.  
"You want me to join the Volleyball club as new manager, I assume."  
Her ears twitched. It was just a guess but judging from her reaction you seemed to be right on the money.  
You took a step back.

"I haven't joined any clubs in first year either, so you're not the first one to ask me to join your club."  
You thought back on how you also got an invitation to join the girl's Basketball club, the baking club and the photography club as there weren't many students that joined at that time.  
Despite you already haven taken a step back, the girl closed the space between the both of you once again.  
"But you haven't said yes to any yet, have you?" She stared into your eyes, her face just inches away from yours, making it impossible for you to ignore her presence. The girl standing beside the booth laughed and sat down onto the bench that was placed in front of it. She grabbed her backpack and pulled out a bag of potato chips.  
"You're scaring her, Kaori." She opened the bag.  
"If she doesn't want to join, then there is no need to force here, is there?"  
'Thank heavens,' you thought. 'At least one person who understands.'

Visibly defeated the girl, who the redhead just called Kaori, slumped her shoulders and sighed.  
"But there weren't any first years interested in joining as manager, either. Everyone was either only interested to join as player or too magnetized by the beefy boys of the Basketball club, next to us. She might be our last hope, Yukie!"  
The girl sitting at the table let our a nervous laugh before throwing more potato chips into her mouth.  
"That... Actually might be true."

Looking at both of the girl you couldn't help but feel bad. But you didn't want to join the club either. There was no way. It would just be the same as when you joined the Volleyball club in middle school.  
It was quiet for a second. You had to admit that you weren't very good in small talk, but the thought of leaving the defeated girls behind also didn't sit very well with you.

"Don't you also have popular players though? Like I heard about this one guy... What was his name? Bo... Boko? Whatever, I'm sure he or someone else would be able to attract someone to join sooner or later."  
You only had briefly heard Shira once mentioning how there was a guy in the Volleyball club who was aknowledged as one of the top five aces in the country. Though of course you've never seen him, yourself. Your weakness of being bad at remembering names also didn't help the situation at all.  
You noticed how both girls suddenly widened their eyes at your statement and started erupting in laughter.  
You felt your hands getting sweaty. 'Did I say something wrong?'

Both girls were laughing but not knowing what exactly they were laughing about, you couldn't help but feel like you were the one being laughed at.  
Finally the redhead caught onto her breath and was able to speak again.  
"Bokuto? He is popular, that's true. Unfortunately in every kind of way except the one where you would attract other people in a good way."  
The tan-haired girl also calmed down, holding a hand against her tummy and wiping a tear from her eye. "That's true, that's true!"

With both of them having calmed down, you felt the air around you thicken as you were not able to think of anything else to talk about.  
"So anyways... I have some cookies waiting for me, so..." You were about to walk past the girl called Kaori as she suddenly reached for your wrist, grabbing it. You flinched at the unexpected body contact.  
"You really don't want to join?" One more time your eyes met before you could avoid her gaze. You didn't reply, trying to puzzle together a sentence in your brain that would not sound too rude.

"Volleyball is such a fun game, you see," you heard the girl you assumed to be called Yukie exclaim. "I mean it's not only fun to play, it's also fun to watch!"  
You felt the grip around your wrist tighten a bit as the girl with the ponytail looked at her friend. She looked a bit surprised at first, but soon her expression softened and she smiled.  
"I have to admit when I first joined, I also only did it because I haven't joined any other clubs yet. I thought since there is not much physical activity involved as a manager, it would be a pretty easy job." She scratched the back of her head with her other hand.  
"In all honesty it wasn't an easy job and it was quite bothersome at first... But when I saw the team play their first match at a tournament... It sort of grew onto me."

She moved her gaze back to your eyes, seeming to have no intention in breaking the eye contact again.  
"The sound of the shoes squeaking against the gym floor. The mutual motivation of the players to win the round." You felt a sting in your chest at latter sentence. She finally let go of your wrist and suddenly held up her hand in a sweeping motion, as if she were spiking a ball.

"And when someone is able to save the ball just for the ace to score another point, stopping the enemy team from making a match point. Meaning that-"  
As if your body reacted on it's own you continued her sentence, cutting her off.  
"Meaning that you are able to play yet another round against the enemy team..." You stared at the floor before you finished your sentence.  
"I know what that feels like. And I know it is one of the most amazing feelings ever."  
You hated to admit it. But it was true. As a Libero you had never felt so alive as when saving an almost impossible ball from hitting the floor, just for your team to score a point. No matter how hard it was. React faster, fall harder, jump further, do your best and never give up. You did all of that, but...

_"Don't you think you're trying too hard?"_

The eyes of the girl standing in front of you lightened up, just like the rest of her face did.  
"So you know that feeling! Have you perhaps played Volleyball before? That would be even better, you would make a great manager!"  
You felt your fingernails dig into your palms as you almost unconsciously formed fists. In contrast to her bright mood you only felt down, almost embarrassed remembering how much effort you used to put into a, as you would now probably call it, "stupid" game of Volleyball.

"I already told you, I'm not interested." You walked past her, this time determined on leaving the school grounds.  
"Wait, but-" as the girl made an attempt to follow you, the redhead stopped her, licking her fingers clean. "Kaori. I think you should leave her be."  
That was the last sentence you heard before finally walking off the school grounds. And despite you leaving both seemingly desperate girls behind, one thing would follow you - The feeling of guilt.

But what exactly were you feeling guilty for? Was it because you had to let those two girls down like that? That probably was part of it. Having a hard time to socialize with other people didn't necessarily mean that you also had a hard time sympathizing with them. But unfortunately that wasn't all that was behind this unwanted feeling of guilt.  
Thinking about how you felt almost embarrassed when remembering your past as a hardworking Libero was the bigger reason behind it.  
Furthermore it made you feel so much more than guilt. It made you feel ashamed of yourself.  
Ashamed of realizing how you felt embarrassed about your past efforts. Because after all you realized that you were slowly but surely turning into one of those people you disliked the most. And perhaps you already had become one of them, you weren't sure.

You grumbled, kicking a pebble off the sidewalk.  
'Just what was I trying so hard for?'  
You hated the fact that if felt like all your hard work in the past was for nothing. You hated that you had a hard time feeling passionate about anything else, ever since leaving the club in middle school. You hated thinking about the way Volleyball made you feel.

You watched as the pebble rolled into a drain and let out a much deeper, clearly upset sigh. You had to hold back your tears.  
"I hate Volleyball..."

At this rate you might spend much more money on cookies than you probably should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update weekly since I'm free from uni until October anyways! Hope you guys enjoy!


	3. First Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Y/N) had to learn the hard way that hard work doesn't always pay off.  
> She also gets to learn that she definitely does not have a weakness for golden eyes, being it the puppy eyes the dog next door gives her when begging for food or belonging to a high school boy almost stealing away her lunch.

You were an active person. Or at least you tried to be. Whenever you had the chance you would go for a jog with your neighbor's dog, Mochi, a six year old, fluffy Malamute with the prettiest golden eyes, you have ever seen. It took you quite a while, but eventually you grew immune to whenever he used them to stare at you and beg for food.  
It hurt at first, ignoring those sad puppy eyes, but since Mochi didn't get as much exercise as he used to you had to be careful with his diet.  
Mochi, as mentioned before, belonged to your neighbor, Sato. She often told you stories about how she used to be a professional marathon runner, at some point even making it to the Olympics. But with time passing she got older and older, not being able to take Mochi for the long walks he was used to. Which is exactly why you took care of that, as much as you could.

Sato held a dear place in your heart. With you being an only child and your parents being at work, sometimes until late into the evening, Sato almost had the role of a grandmother to you. She often took care of you when you were younger and helped you with your homework as best as someone who hasn't been to school for more than 50 years, could.  
Her husband had sadly passed away years ago. With her children already living with their own families, it left her and Mochi living alone in the probably way too big and empty house, if it weren't for you regularly dropping by. And thus she never failed to smile whenever she told you about stories of her youth and how you should never give up on the things you love.

At the time she first told you that, you had just graduated from Elementary School. You weren't exactly sure yet what she meant with that or what you loved doing. But you were willing to find out.

Middle School was definitely the time you discovered more about what you liked and what you didn't like. But it also was the time which made you turn against the things you did like, despite the things Sato had told you.

For instance, you did enjoy Baseball, Basketball and Kendo. But you sucked at Pole Vaulting, Soccer and Tennis.  
There also were things you were moderately good at, like Track Running.  
But no matter whether you were good in it or not: You always gave your best. No exceptions. You always put all you had into what you did.

The first time someone pointed this out was in the Basketball club. It was when you had accidentally ran into someone, trying to follow the person with the ball as best as you could. You apologized, but she was clearly annoyed about what had happened.  
"You don't have to put that much energy into it, you know."  
At the time you didn't care much about it. Or maybe you did. You weren't sure. But you left the Basketball club after that incident, not having any motivation to continue playing it.  
It was okay, you thought. Basketball wasn't anything you particularly loved. It was just something you enjoyed. Or rather used to enjoy. But it definitely wasn't something you felt sad about leaving behind. At least that's what you told yourself.

It was a whole different story for Volleyball though.

"If you truly love something, hold onto it. Even if you are bad at it, it doesn't matter," is what Sato had told you. "Just never give up. Do your best and get better in what you love doing."  
And so you tried to.

With your love and passion towards Volleyball growing, your efforts also were.  
You weren't very tall. But you were close to the ground. And you were fast. The latter two, being important factors when being a Libero, like you were.  
When you first started out it wasn't rare for you to return back home with new bruises you got from diving for the ball at practice.  
At some point your parents even asked you whether you were being bullied in school, as they were concerned about the blue marks on your arms and legs. Just because they were busy with work, didn't mean they were bad parents after all.  
You had to calmly explain to them and also to Sato later on, that it wasn't something to be worried about. Rather it was from something you loved doing.

You loved the feeling of the ball that was close to hitting the ground, hitting your hand instead.  
You loved your role as a Libero, being able to show off your quick reactions.  
You loved the feeling of winning a game after working hard with your teammates.  
You loved Volleyball.

And you definitely wouldn't let a few discolorations on your skin stop you from playing it. More than that, you thought of them almost as evidence for your hard labor and efforts. So you weren't bothered by the weird looks you got from the other club members who kept on watching you dive for every ball you possibly could, at practice.  
And as time went on the bruises lessened. You had learned how to approach different kinds of balls and you also had learned how to dive safely without injuring yourself too much.  
Though of course every now and then there was a stray ball that seemed nearly impossible to receive, making you run through half of the gym, sometimes even stumbling over chairs or running against the wall as you were too focused on the ball.  
'As long as it's still in the air I can get it,' you thought. 'Even if the others consider it as impossible, I can still try.'

"Hey, (Y/N)." Your head turned to the club member who had just called out to you. You were currently on a break after the members had been practicing spiking and blocking, with you behind the spiker, practicing to receive the blocked balls.  
"Do you want to become a professional Volleyball player in the future?" This question baffled you. She wiped away her sweat with the towel that she had casually thrown over her shoulder.  
You shook your head. "Not really. Why are you asking?" She took a big sip out of her waterbottle before she continued talking.  
"Oh, you do not? It's just... You always seem to be trying so hard and always seem to put in everything you got. You put so much effort into playing." You were genuinely confused.

"Why shouldn't I?"  
It was something you loved doing after all. Why would you not put any effort into it?  
She put her bottle down, along with her towel.  
"Well, it's just a club. Just as much as this is only a game. There's really no need to work as hard as you do. Don't you think so?" She pointed at a bruise on your leg you got after not so majestically landing on the hardwood gym floor.  
Honestly you didn't think so.  
But it did make you think about what the person in the Basketball club had said prior to you leaving it.

_"You don't have to put that much energy into it, you know."_

You tried to brush it off.

"But isn't it boring not putting in everything you got?" At that remark she looked surprised. But before she could reply, the coach called everyone to gather up to continue practicing.

You always wanted to push your limits and challenge yourself with new hurdles that seemed impossible to climb.  
Even if you lost matches. They would just be a stepping stone for what was to come. You were going to continue growing! And you were going to win even more matches in the future than the ones you had lost in the past.

That's what you thought.  
That's what you wanted to do.

_"Don't you think you're trying too hard?"_

...

After that one particular loss at a tournament you weren't able to continue playing Volleyball.  
Of course it also was because you had an injured ankle. But the biggest reason behind it must have been that you felt as if you had lost the flame in you that kept on giving you the motivation to push even further.  
No matter how impossible the ball you received for your team seemed. What was the meaning behind all the effort you put into saving it when nobody ran after it? When everybody else has already given up?  
You couldn't win the game alone. You needed a team to support you. And you needed to support a team. But no matter how often you tried to fulfill the latter - As soon as they decided that the game was impossible to win, they left that support unreciprocated.

"Here are the X-Ray Results."  
The doctor walked into the room, fixating the radiographs onto the lightboard on the wall.  
"As you can see right here, there are small fractures in the Talus, also known as the ankle bone. It's nothing fatal, but it could have turned out much worse. If you had continued straining it, you could have had a hard time, even way after the recovery."  
He calmly explained this to you and your coach who had brought you to the hospital right after the tournament ended.

The doctor scratched the back of his head. "May I ask how this happened?"  
The coach sighed. "We just came here from a Volleyball tournament. She tends to overexert herself a bit in every game."  
The doctor laughed at her response. "Ah, to be young and full of energy again. Though 'a bit' is probably an understatement, judging from the injury. Fractures in the Talus are rather rare amongst students her age."

He looked at you before continuing his sentence. "It was just a school tournament, right?"  
You bit your lip and nodded. It was the word "just" that irritated you.  
He turned off the lightboard. "Well in that case there is no need to torture yourself like that, is there? As said your injury isn't fatal. But if you would have carried on, it could have been, do you understand that?"  
He stepped closer and put a hand on your head, patting it as he smiled kindly.  
"You're still young. Don't push yourself like that, okay?"  
You felt your vision go blurry as you tried your best to fight the tears that came up at the doctor's request.  
"Okay..."

...

Maybe there actually were some people like you, who would always give their best in no matter what they did.  
Maybe you and the members in your team just were too different to function as a proper team.  
And maybe had you been in a different team with different people, things could have turned out differently, too.  
It was a thought you had.  
And later on, looking at the cast around your ankle somehow made you want to apologize to everyone who was affected by your overmotivation.  
Yet at the same time you felt conflicted.

How would you know that there were actually people like you out there? People who loved what they were doing and loved putting everything they got into it?  
Of course you wouldn't know.

Realizing that made you think that there probably was no hope.  
If everything in the world, good or bad - if all the goals you wanted to reach - depended on the people around you and not solely yourself, no matter how hard you worked or how much blood, sweat and tears you put into it, then there was only one thing you could do.

You'd never selfishly get lost in the things you loved, ever again. Not if it meant that you would lose things.  
You'd give up on Volleyball.

*** 

"Sorry (Y/N), you'll have to go to school without me today, too. There's been an emergency morning meeting at club. I'm suuuuper sorry about this, I'll make it up to you, I swear (T___T)"

You sighed at the text you got from Shira. The paperbag containing a cookie rustled in your hand. 'Guess I will have to give this to her at lunch break,' you thought to yourself before stuffing it into your bag. You may have ended up buying more cookies, than you actually intended to, yesterday. But you still were able to hold back and save one for your friend.

You enjoyed Shira's presence. You only got to know her because she was the one to approach and invite you for lunch in the first year of High School. Ever since then you spent more and more time together. Sadly once the second semester approached you were seperated by being assigned to different classes.  
Shira was busy. But she was hardworking. She enjoyed what she did and made an effort for it. In a way you envied her. She was able to do what she loved while her hard labor for it was also being appreciated by her other club members.  
Maybe if you had met met Shira earlier, you thought, the way things went in Middle School could have turned out differently.

You texted her back.  
"Okay, gotcha. Meet you at lunch?"  
Almost instantly you got a reply.  
"Should work! Come over to my classroom, I'll save us a nice spot, mkay? (･ω<)☆"  
You giggled at her emoticon before texting another "okay" and making your way to the train.

Fukurodani Academy wasn't too far from your home. Just a fifteen minute walk and another fifteen minute train ride.  
On some days you'd like to stop by at a bakery shop that was on the way to your school to buy something for lunch. And today was just one of these days, as you didn't feel like preparing a lunchbox the evening prior. You were too caught up with being disgruntled over the Volleyball club manager incident that had occured in the afternoon, to do anything else.

The bakery shop you always visited was small and family owned. Nonetheless they were popular, especially for their Yakisoba Bread, and you definitely understood why.  
Compared to the ones you could buy at school or at convenience stores, they tasted much better with the Yakisoba being aromatic and sometimes even still hot, and the bread being the fluffiest kind you have ever had.  
Stepping into the shop your mouth watered as soon as the smell of freshly baked goods entered your nostrils. You glanced at the shelf where the Yakisoba Breads usually would be. There was one left and seemingly nobody around to get it. Except you of course.  
Maybe there actually was some kind of Deity watching over you and trying to make your day better, after all.  
You approached the shelf and reached out for the bread. If this were a RomCom situation there definitely would be another person reaching out fo-

The shop door flung open. "Hey Akaashi! Look, we are just in time! There's only one left!"  
You heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind and grabbing the bread at the same time you did.  
It was almost as if he completely ignored your presence, only having eyes for the Yakisoba Bread in front of him. But there was no way this guy would be snatching away your lunch. You would not allow that.  
You tightened your grip around the bread, still being careful enough not to squish it too much. This probably made the guy next to you realize that you were also standing there, next to him with the bread in your hand.

He looked at you, realizing you were glaring back at him. He had white-gray hair with black streaks. Certain sections of his hair were done up. It was definitely a "wild" look, you thought.  
His eyes were golden and almost instantly reminded you of Mochi's, the Malamute next door. Thinking of the pup with golden puppy eyes but also with a strict diet you realized one thing: You were not going to give up your lunch to this guy. Even if it meant maintaining eye contact to establish dominance.

You gasped. "Oh my God..." You frowned as you pointed with your finger to the window. "Do you see that! That's so bizarre, just what's going on over there?"  
And it seemed the golden eyed boy fell for your trap as he loosened his grip around the bread and turned his head towards the window.  
"Huh? Where, what's going on?"

Maybe you should have just gone to the drama club instead to begin with, you thought.

You took the opportunity and grabbed the bread off the shelf. Victory was yours, and so was the last Yakisoba Bread.  
It took longer than you had expected for the boy with the abnormally styled hair to understand what just happened. But when he finally did you already were on your way to the cash register with the bread in your hand. When reaching the register he approached you.  
"That's not fair! You stole my Yakisoba Bread!"

Did you really have the energy to discuss with this manchild who the last Yakisoba Bread belonged to? You didn't think so.  
In response you just sticked out your tongue, handing the bread to the poor cashier who had to witness this whole awkward situation.  
But this only seemed to be equivalent to pouring gasoline into a fire as the boy looked stirred up by your actions, but before the golden eyed male could say anything, the door opened and another boy entered the shop.

"Bokuto-san, don't run into a shop like that. You could have run someone over." He seemed to be out of breath. Perhaps he was running after his white haired friend who, in contrary to him, didn't show the slightest hint of exhaustion.  
Only then you realized that both boys were wearing the Fukurodani school uniform.

"Akaashi!" The white haired boy let out a whiny voice and pointed at you. "That woman over there stole the last Yakisoba Bread right out of my hand! And she even sticked out her tongue at me!"  
You flinched. 'Did he really have to add the last part...?'

The black haired male looked over to you. He had a pretty face with soft features. His gunmetal colored eyes were framed by long and thick lashes. If it were for him, maybe you would have considered giving up the Yakisoba Bread. Just maybe.

You sighed in expectation to be approached by him, too.  
"I'm sorry I acted like that. I guess that was a bit inappropriate to do and-"  
Before you could finish your sentence you saw the young man bow in an apologetic manner. "I am sorry for the inconvenience my friend has caused."  
You were genuinely surprised at his apology. It almost made you feel a bit guilty. "Ah, no it's okay," you replied, unsure of what else to do or say.

"Hey, Akaashi, what are you-" Before the male with the wild hairstyle could finish, his friend approached him, proceeding to grab him by the back of his uniform blazer.  
He quickly bowed again before leaving the shop, dragging the other boy behind him, who was clearly throwing a tantrum. What a weird duo.

You looked back to the cashier who seemed to be just as confused as you were, before scanning the item and packing it into a plastic bag. "So... Do you know them?"  
Clearly with many students coming by, she was able to make out that you and the two boys were from the same school.  
You fumbled around in your wallet, gathering the coins you needed and handing them to the cashier. "Thankfully I do not."

While the dark haired male may have seemed like a pleasant person to be around, just alone the imagination of being in the same class as the white haired one suddenly made you feel thoroughly exhausted. Or maybe it wasn't that way at all and you just misjudged latter in the heat of the moment. You didn't know.

You happily hummed while leaving the shop after you safely secured your lunch in your bag.

What you did know was that you felt excited to meet Shira and eat your Yakisoba Bread at lunchtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still moving on pretty slow but we're steadily making our way!


	4. Vanilla Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again (Y/N) encounters the managers of the Volleyball club. But to her own surprise they both seem very apologetic about the incident that had occured the day before. Perhaps (Y/N) might be able to make up with them and clear up why she has no interest in joining the Volleyball team.

The bell chimed through the school building. You exhaled in relief that the math lessons you just had finally found an end. Barely half of the day was over, still you felt even more exhausted than usual. Was it because of the incident this morning?

You grabbed your most important belongings along with the lunch that you had worked so hard for and made your way to the classroom in which Shira was waiting for you. She waved at you as soon as you stepped in. She was beside the window, sitting at two desks she had pushed together in preparation for lunch. She grinned as she watched you sit down in front of her.  
"Hey sweetcheeks, long time no see."  
You scoffed. At times both of you liked to act as if you were an old married couple, making it a small competition between both of you about who could find the worst nicknames for each other.  
"Hey Pooh Bear. How has your day been so far?"  
Her smile widened before she slumped down on her desk in a childish manner. "I'm exhausted. Drained to the bone. Even more than usual."  
You unpacked your Yakisoba Bread and took a bite out of it. "Oh, you too? Was the meeting that rough?"  
Shira slowly straightened her back and proceeded to unwrap her lunchbox. "Kinda. We did end up getting far more first year applications than anticipated so we had to look through all of them."

You watched her reveal her lunch that looked like it had been chaotically thrown together in a hurry. You held back a giggle at the thought of your friend running through the kitchen, trying to stuff her lunchbox with whatever she could find. Apparently Shira noticed your eyes lingering on her lunch. She tried to catch your attention. "(Y/N), I know my lunch looks amazing, but my eyes are up here."  
You let out a laugh before she could continue. "What about you? How was your morning without your dear honey snuggly pie?"  
You couldn't help but cringe at the new nickname she gave herself. But you cringed even more at the memory of what had happened on your way to school.

"It was... Adventurous."  
You watched Shira shove some rice into her mouth. "Care to elaborate?"  
Staring at your half eaten Yakisoba Bread you sat there in silence before finally telling your friend about the adventures you had gone through in the bakery shop.

When you finished the story you saw Shira almost choking on an eggroll she had stuffed in her mouth while listening to you. She finally got it down before continuing to erupt in laughter. "And he dragged him out of there? Like a sack of potatoes?"  
You nodded. "They really were an odd pair. I haven't seen either of them before but they had our school uniform."

Shira opened a bottle of green tea and took a big gulp out of it before clearing her throat again. She leaned back on her seat with a cheeky smile. "I can already see it. The beginning of a love triangle between (Y/N) and the bakery boys."  
You threw the last bite of bread in your mouth and scowled. "Listen Shira. The only thing irresistable in that bakery was the bread."  
Your friend raised her eyebrows and wiggled them. "Oh, you mean their buns? Or do you prefer to call it cake?"  
As if by a mysterious force your hand felt magnetized by your face. You facepalmed and let out a groan.

Shira continued. "Either way it's rare for you to be so assertive. I mean first tricking and then even sticking your tongue out at him? God, I wish I could have seen that."  
You leaned back, your stomach feeling content after being fed. Still it gave you a dropping feeling. While you did really want the last Yakisoba Bread, you kind of felt bad for the other guy who also had wanted it. Especially considering how easily he fell for your scheme. It almost felt as if you've stolen some candy from a toddler.

Shira took another sip from her bottle. "Oh, so you do feel guilty about it?"  
You let out a deep sigh. You've been letting those out a lot, lately. "You can tell?"  
Your friend placed the bottle on the table. "You can't hide anything from me, munchkin."  
You rubbed the back of your neck. "I don't know, thinking about it, it probably was a rude thing to do. I still was in a bad mood from the whole Volleyball incident yesterday and I really shouldn't have let out my saltiness on other people, should I?."  
Shira blinked. "Volleyball incident?"

You flinched.  
That's right, you hadn't told Shira about what happened yesterday after parting ways with her. More than that you also hadn't told her about how you used to passionately play Volleyball in Middle School. You found it unnecessary. After all it's not like you'd ever play Volleyball again. Hell, you even tried to avoid the sole topic as best as you could. And it seemed to work out pretty well until... Well, until yesterday.

You shifted your gaze from her to the side.  
"(Y/N)."  
This was bad. She knew that you were hiding something.  
"(Y/N). I already told you, you can't hide anything from me."  
You gulped. She was right. But still you wanted to avoid the topic as best as you could.  
"Oh, that's right! I got something for you!"  
You jumped at the memory that you had saved a cookie for Shira. She rested her head on her hand. "You sure you're not just avoiding the topic?"  
Bullseye. You frantically shook your head. "Remember that one café near the train station you told me about? The one with the cookies?"  
You seemed to catch her attention with that which made you feel relieved. "You were there? What did you get me, a cookie?"  
You nodded and smiled. "Yup!"

Her eyes gleamed in joy. "Have I told you how much I love you, my dear nutter butter?"  
You laughed and were about to reach for your bag, when you realized it wasn't there. Right. You only had taken your phone, wallet and lunch with you, leaving the bag in your classroom.  
You stood up from your chair. "I left it in my bag. I'll go get it real quick, okay?"  
Shira nodded with a bright smile plastered on her face. "Sure, I'll be waiting."

After a last nod you left the classroom, making big steps to the one where your bag was waiting for you.  
'Maybe while I'm at it I should also grab something to drink at the vending machine,' you thought before finally reaching your destination. But you made an abrupt halt before even entering the room.

"Do you see her?" You heard a familiar voice.  
"Nope. I'm pretty sure I got the right classroom though."  
You frowned as you recognized the two girls standing at the open door to your classroom, one with tan-colored hair that was tied up in a ponytail, the other with loose reddish brown colored hair. The girls from the day before.

You were about to make a U-Turn, right to where the vending machines were when you heard one of them call out to you. Crap.  
"Oh, (L/N)! There you are, we were looking for you!"  
Your shoulders dropped at the realization that you were spotted despite your feeble attempt on activating stealth mode.

You turned your head to see the two girls approaching you, before turning it away again. You buried your face in one of your hands and yet again let out another deep sigh.  
"Listen, I'm pretty sure I already told you several times that I am not interested. Why do you keep on insisting?"  
You weren't in the mood for this, so you tried your best to make yourself as clear as possible. But to your surprise you didn't get the answer you expected.  
"I know. And I am sorry about what happened."  
You blinked in confusion, unsure of whether what you just heard was actually what she said.  
As you heard two pair of footsteps coming closer, you once again met the blueish gray eyes of the freckled girl with the ponytail. She had an apologetic expression on her face, which you didn't get to see the day before.  
Also unlike yesterday she averted her gaze from you, as if she felt ashamed to look you in the eye.

She fiddled around with her fingers. "Listen, I know that I have been super pushy about this whole manager thing. And judging from how you reacted I probably must have made you feel uncomfortable at some point."  
She wasn't wrong. In fact she had made you feel very uncomfortable. Not only had she brought up unpleasant memories, she also invaded your, as Shira would probably call it, "No No-Square", several times by suddenly grabbing you out of nowhere and forcing unwanted eye contact.  
Still, you did not expect her to admit to her own mistakes or even appear right in front of you to do so.

"I would like to apologize for that."  
After saying that she suddenly bowed. It somehow made you think back to the black haired boy at the bakery shop, who did the same when apologizing for his friend.  
Just what was it today with you and being apologized to?

Unsure of what to say you looked at the other girl, standing beside her friend. When you met eyes she smiled softly.  
As you noticed how people around you were starting to stare you let out a growl of frustration. "Fine, fine. I accept your apology."  
Her head shot back up. "Really?"  
You rubbed the back of your neck, still not looking into her eyes. "Really."  
You confirmed that you accepted her apology despite a small part of you regretting it.

When you finally locked gazes with her, you realized how teary her eyes looked. Was she about to cry?  
You panicked. But before you could even raise your voice she quickly wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform. "I'm glad. I didn't realize it yesterday when talking to you, but after thinking about it for a while I realized I shouldn't have done that."

There it was again. The feeling of guilt.  
It was absurd but somehow the thought of someone feeling guilty because of you, made you feel guilty yourself. In your opinion this was by far one of your worst traits.  
You were always too softhearted for your own good.  
Except when it was about food and golden colored eyes. Especially both combined.

You finally gave in to your feeling of guilt. "I was about to go get something from my classroom and then quickly grab a drink outside. Care for a small walk?"  
You weren't exactly sure yourself as to why you just had invited these girls to accompany you to the vending machine. A part of you wanted to clear up the whole situation and explain why you didn't want to become manager of the Volleyball club. Another just wanted to stop feeling the way you felt about the whole situation.

Both girls seemed baffled about your invitation. 'Maybe it was weird after all,' you thought. But before you could take back your invitation both smiled and nodded.

"Oh right! We never got to introduce ourselves, did we? I am Suzumeda Kaori. I'm in third year, manager of the Volleyball club!"  
She smiled brightly before the redhead also introduced herself. "My name is Shirofuku Yukie. I am also a third year and manager of the Volleyball club. Nice to meet you."  
You didn't expect both of them to suddenly introduce themselves like that. Then again, you also didn't expect both of them to be upperclassmen.  
Fukurodani Academy was rather big, being located in Tokyo. So it wouldn't have surprised you if they also had been in second year but in different classes than you were. Still, them being in third year did explain why they were looking so desperately for a new manager.

"You probably already know this, but I am (L/N) (Y/N). I am in second year. Not in any clubs."  
You slightly bowed. "I'm gonna get something from my bag and be right back, okay?"  
As soon as both nodded you walked to your desk, getting out the paper bag containing Shira's cookie. At the same time you felt your phone in your pocket vibrate.  
When unlocking it you saw it was a text Shira sent you.

"Hey, just got called by a club member. We messed something up when looking through our first year applications, so I gotta go real quick. Dunno if I'll be back before break ends (ಥ﹏ಥ)"  
You glanced at the girls waiting for you in front of the classroom before you started typing out a reply.  
"That's okay. Something came up for me, too! You got club later, right? Want me to drop that cookie off at your shoe locker?"  
Almost instantly you got a reply.  
"What did I do to deserve you, baby cakes (;﹏;) Take care on your way home!"  
You couldn't hold back the small giggle. From day to day the nicknames she gave you really got worse. You also had to step up your game.  
"Thanks, have fun at club, sexy pants! Don't overwork yourself too much."

Shoving the paper bag back into your schoolbag you made your way to Yukie and Kaori. "Ya good to go, (L/N)?"  
You nodded and walked off with them.

There were several vending machines distributed around the school building. However, none of them were close to your classroom. The closest one was outside, situated beside the school garden.  
You took a deep breath when walking ahead.  
You wanted to explain to Yukie and Kaori as to why you didn't want to become the Volleyball team's manager. They would understand, right? Surely they would. And then they would hopefully leave you alone. Along with the feeling of guilt you had.  
But you weren't quite sure where you should even start. And before you even could, you heard Kaori speak up. She seemed to be the more talkative one out of both girls.

"Do you hate Volleyball?, (L/N)?" Your pace slowed down when hearing that question.  
Did you hate Volleyball?

'Yes! Yes I do,' is what you wanted to say. 'I hate it with all my might. That's why I don't want to become manager of your stupid Volleyball team!'  
Instead you said nothing, now walking beside Kaori and Yukie, staring at the floor tiles in front of you.  
Kaori noticed the change in your expression.

"Sorry, was that too direct?"  
You shook your head before taking a deep breath and replying calmly. "No... It wasn't."  
You opened the door to the school yard with both girls following you. The fresh air felt nice on your skin. Still your palms felt sweaty.  
"I do... I hate Volleyball."  
You weren't sure why it felt so hard to admit it. Volleyball was something you decided to completely leave behind. So you shouldn't have any trouble admitting your dislike against it. And yet you did.

A quiet "I see" passed Kaori's lips when you finally arrived at the vending machine. You fished some coins out of your pocket to buy a drink.  
"To me it doesn't seem that way."  
You flinched at the statement Yukie had just made. You turned to her. "I do though!"  
Yukie had a soft smile on her lips. As if she exactly knew what was going on. "I don't think so."  
You grumbled.

"I do."  
"You don't."  
"I do!"  
"You don't."  
"I do!"  
"You do?"  
"I don't!"  
"Ah, so you don't hate it then?"

You let out a cry, realizing how the upperclassman had just messed with your head. She laughed with a hand placed on her on her belly. "Sorry, I had to."  
It has been a while since you've had such a childish discussion with someone.  
In a way it felt refreshing. In another it frustrated you.  
The redhead wiped a tear from her eye and calmed down.

"It's just that when you were talking about Volleyball yesterday... Your eyes were gleaming."  
You tensed up at her statement, pressing the wrong button on the vending machine. Instead of the drink you had originally wanted a box of Vanilla flavored milk fell out. You bent down to pick it up.  
"The kind of expression you had was the one I would usually see on the faces of some club members when they were talking about Volleyball. So I thought that you must feel the same way about it as they do."

It wasn't hard for you to realize that Yukie was more the calm and observing type, while Kaori was the more talkative and impulsive one. In a way they completed each other, probably making a great team. However, you didn't know whether this was a good or a bad thing.

Kaori nodded. "That's true! You seemed to know about the basic rules of Volleyball, too!"  
You knew it was no use in denying it.  
"I played Volleyball in Middle School. I used to be a Libero."  
You unpacked the straw, sticking it into the box of milk, you originally didn't even want.  
Kaori's expression lightened up. "You were a Libero? That's amazing! Being a Libero requires a lot of stamina and practice! I'm sure you must have worked hard!"

You found yourself staring down to your legs that used to be covered in bruises from practice.  
It was true. You definitely did work hard. Probably the hardest in your whole team. You always made sure to never skip practice and alway do your best to become a better player for your team.

"It's nothing... It was just a club after all. There really isn't a need to put that much energy into something like that, is there?"

Hearing yourself say what people around you always have been telling you for years, felt painful. Never would your Middle School self had thought that you would ever say something like that. You were almost sure that she would be disappointed in you. But you were also sure that at some point she would come to unterstand.

"What made you stop playing?"  
You were pulled out of your thoughts when Yukie asked you this question.  
"Oh, uhm... I got injured and couldn't play for a while. And also... I... Uh..."  
You felt your grip around the box of milk tighten as the memory of the last tournament you had played with your team replayed in your head.  
Shit. You really didn't want to remember that. Nor did you want to confess to it to two girls who were basically strangers to you. Still, you weren't sure how you should continue your sentence.

"Why don't you come over later to watch the team practice?"  
As always, Yukie seemed to be able to read the mood all too well. It almost creeped you out.  
Your eyebrows narrowed. "I already told you though that I am not interested in becoming a manager."  
She had to giggle at the sight of how your face scrunched up. "Now now, I never said a word about that, did I? I simply invited you to come watch. You're not in any clubs, so you should have time for that, right?"  
She paused before shifting her gaze to the side. "Though if you do end up being interested, we would wholeheartedly welcome you as new manager."  
She said that last sentence in a quiet voice, almost whispering."

Before you could point out what she said the school bell chimed through the hallways, announcing that the break was over and that the students should go back to their designated classrooms. You didn't actually expect to spend the rest of the break with these two girls.  
"We have practice in the western gym hall, this afternoon! See you there, (L/N)!"  
And before you even knew, both were out of sight, hurrying back to their classes.

'See you there?'  
You walked back to your classroom, the taste of the overly sweet milk still lingering on your tongue.  
'As if.'  
You felt the pace of your steps going up as you made your way back.

Why would you even consider going there after everything you witnessed in Middle School? Surely it wouldn't be any different. Nor would it make any difference. You would just end up being disappointed again. Disappointed and let down, with the others not even considering how hard you worked for them.

And yet the thought of Volleyball made your heart race. Why was that?

Before you even knew, you were running through the hallway, despite it not being allowed.  
'Shit...'  
Why was it what you felt so restless thinking about the sound of sneakers squeaking against the gym floor and the Volleyball slamming against it after being spiked by the ace of the team?  
'Shit.'  
Why was it that the thought of saving the ball from hitting the floor never left your mind?  
'Shit!'  
Why was it that no matter how often you told yourself that you'd never go back to ever having something to do with Volleyball again, it always seemed to reappear in your life, whether you wanted it or not. Just like a ball bouncing right back into your face after having slammed it against a wall.  
'Shit, shit, shit!'

You hated this feeling.  
And you hated Volleyball.  
You definitely did.

_"It's just that when you were talking about Volleyball yesterday... Your eyes were gleaming."_

And yet, there you were, hours later, standing in front of the entrance of the western gym hall, where Yukie had told you the team would be practicing.

You sighed to yourself.  
"Why am I like this?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Bokuto this chapter again but I promise he will be back in the next one v.v


	5. Raspberry Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end (Y/N) decided to show up in front of the gym, where Yukie had said the team would be practicing.  
> Why? She didn't know herself.  
> To (Y/N) it probably was like a last farewell before finally being able to completely leave Volleyball behind, along with her bad (but also good) memories she had from it.

There you were, standing in front of the entrance of the western gym hall, where Yukie had said the team would be practicing.

You sighed at yourself.  
"Why am I like this?"  
You gritted your teeth.  
Why were you even here?

If you were being honest with yourself it didn't make any sense at all. You being here was just you trying to find peace with the raging thoughts inside your head along with the unwanted feeling of excitement in your stomach.  
You didn't want to be here.  
But you knew yourself well enough to know that if you had ignored Yukie's invitation, the feeling of guilt would never go away.

It probably was like a last farewell.  
After seeing the team practice you could finally be sure that you would definitely be able to completely leave Volleyball behind you.  
That's all.  
That's all there was to it.  
After that you would never look back again. You would continue on with everything else knowing well that you could tell the people around you, that you did not waste any energy on something as simple as a club.

You stepped closer to the door and tried to open it. Seemed like you were a bit too early, since the door was still locked.  
Still, standing in front of the gym made you remember the endless amounts of times you went to practice in Middle School.  
The number of times you used to fall on the hardwood gym floor was uncountable.  
But so was the number of times you were being told that you shouldn't work so hard on something as irrelevant as a club.

_"You don't have to put that much energy into it, you know?"  
"Why are you trying so hard?"  
"You're putting your health at risk just because of a game."  
"We already lost anyways."  
"Don't you think you're trying too hard?"_

You bit your lip.  
You remembered the day of the last tournament you played in well. You especially remembered leaving the building with your coach who was helping you to walk to her car so that she could drive you to the nearest hospital, like the nurse in the infirmary had advised her to.

The dark gray sky, the worn out gym behind you, as you got into the car.  
The whole scene reflected in your eyes like a backdrop.  
Maybe if you would have run back into the gym where the rest of the tournament was still taking place, a young comedian would burst out of the shadows as the instigator of an elaborate prank. Then you would say "Geez, are you serious?" and laugh until tears would come out.  
But everything that happened was real. It wasn't a prank or a joke of some sort. And the pain in your ankle also confirmed that it couldn't have been a dream. No matter how much you had wished for it to be one.  
You had to finally accept what people around you have been telling you all the time.  
Else you'd just get disappointed by them again.

Your grip around the door handle tightened.  
'Maybe I shouldn't be here after all,' you thought. 'I should probably just go home already...'  
But before you could even let go of the door handle someone called out to you.

**"It's you!"**

You flinched at the eerily familiar voice who had just pointed out your presence. And turning around you saw a white haired boy with a black haired one standing beside him. Both were dressed in gym clothes.  
Your whole body tensed up, especially at the sight of the golden colored eyes.  
"You!!!"  
The boys from the bakery shop.

The spiky haired male pointed at you with his finger while turning to his friend beside him.  
"Akaashi! It's the Yakisoba Bread thief!"  
Your eyebrows furrowed.  
"Excuse you! The last time I checked, I didn't steal anything! More than that I was in the shop and had my eyes on that bread before you even appeared!"  
At the last sentence the golden eyed boy finally retracted his arm. His facial expression changed from an aggravated to a surprised one.  
"Oh... You were?"

Had this guy really not noticed your presence at all?  
And as if on this day not enough people had already apologized to you, he sheepishly scratched the back of his head and averted his gaze from you before letting out a small "Sorry about that then."  
This guy certainly did not have a pokerface. Especially compared to his raven haired friend, who was standing beside him.  
As if his emotions were displayed like an open book on a table, his facial expressions made them clearly readable.  
This allowed you to be able to tell that he actually looked like he was sorry for his actions. However, this just made you even more hesitant as you did not expect that he hadn't been ignoring you on purpose that morning.

The black haired male just watched both of you from the sidelines without commenting the awkward interaction you had.  
He knew that when his friend got too focused on something, he would completely forget anything else. "Anything else", in this case, seemed to be noticing people around him while being too focused on getting what he wanted.  
The blue eyed boy already assumed this had been the case which was why he apologized to you and the cashier in the bakery shop this morning.  
You of course, on the other hand, did not know this, simply leaving you confused and wondering in the shop when he dragged his friend out.

"So you already met Bokuto and Akaashi." Turning your head to the side, you saw Yukie followed by Kaori.  
'Bokuto...' Your head tilted to the side, trying to remember who the name belonged to. It seemed awfully familiar. And then it dawned on you.

"Bokuto, as in... The player of the Volleyball team who is one of the the top five aces in the country?"  
You looked at the raven haired boy who had not spoken a single word until now. Surely it had to be him, you thought. How could it be the other guy who had fallen for your simple trick at the bakery shop?  
However, he seemed to notice your gaze. He pointed at the young man standing beside him, who was already puffing his chest up in pride.  
"It's him."

'Him?!'  
You looked back to the spiky haired boy. He beamed while placing his thumb on his chest, pointing at himself. "It sure is!"  
And no matter how you looked at it. Scanning him up and down, you saw that his build was much more solid and muscular than the one of his friend. You were nearly convinced that the power behind his spikes must have been incredible. Still, you hated to admit it.  
"Are you sure?"

He flinched at your comment. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!"  
In contrary Yukie and Kaori breaked out in laughter.  
"He is," Akaashi replied calmly. "He just missed being in the top three though."  
You couldn't help but also laugh a bit at the latter half of his sentence.  
Bokuto snapped back at him with a loud voice. "Please don't knock on me like that!"

Kaori smiled at the sight of you laughing at what Akaashi had just said. "We're glad you decided to pay us a visit, (L/N)."  
You weren't sure how to reply to that. If it were for the selfish side of you, you would have told her that you were about to go home. Then again, what was the point of you even showing up?  
In the end it didn't make any sense at all. And yet here you were, in front of a gym in the afternoon.  
The combination of time and location you promised yourself to not encounter again. And still you did.

Yukie came closer and smiled as she showed off a key. "May I?"  
Only then you noticed that you were still standing in front of the door. "Right. Sorry."  
You stepped aside, allowing her to unlock it. While she pushed it open you turned to Kaori. "What about the rest of the team?"  
She stepped inside the gym hall. "They should be coming soon."

You watched as Akaashi and Bokuto followed the managers inside, with you still standing in front of the entrance.  
But just with the door opened, you were able to catch a whiff of the all too familiar scent of the gym.  
You looked inside to see a net in the middle of a field, already put up in preparation for practice, and the hardwood floor reflecting the sunlight that was entering through a window.  
It was a scenery you knew well. And you hated to admit it, but at the moment you heard the highpitched squeaks the sneakers made against the gym floor and the sound of balls being slammed against it, you couldn't help yourself but feel a bit nostalgic.  
Almost so much as to make you tear up.

Kaori stretched her head through the door frame. "What are you waiting for? Come in!"  
You felt frozen, your body rooted to the spot. You looked at Kaori before shifting your gaze, first to Bokuto and Akaashi who were practicing jump serves, then to the side.  
"I think I should go..." You almost whispered that sentence, trying to hide the shame behind it.  
Not getting a response, you glanced back to the ponytailed girl just to see her eyes moving away from you, upwards.

"Did you girls bring a new manager?"  
You jumped when hearing the voice of another person standing behind you. Turning around, you saw a man with gray hair and glasses smiling warmly at you.  
"Coach!"  
Seeing Bokuto run closer, the man walked past you, entering the gym.  
"Bokuto-kun!"  
You watched from outside as the two were now standing face to face, suddenly bumping their chests against each other.  
You blinked. Did Bokuto really just chest bump the coach?

"Actually we didn't bring a new manager."  
You saw Yukie approaching the coach with a bunch of freshly washed towels on her arms, that she was preparing for the team. "We were hoping that she could watch the team practice today."  
The man turned to you with a blank expression. "You want to watch us practice?"  
You bit your tongue. Somehow talking to an authority figure made you feel even more tense than you already were. "It's okay if I'm not allowed to..."  
Your reply was almost too quiet for the coach to hear. In actuality you almost wished he didn't. But he did, with his lips curling into a smile. "Of course you're allowed to! Come in!"

Now it was too late. You couldn't run away any longer with the authority figure of the Volleyball team having invited you in. You stared at the space between the gym floor and the pavement.  
You sighed before finally giving in. "Thanks for having me."  
Kaori's face lightened up as she nodded at you. "I'll go get some chairs for us!"

You looked around. The gym was bigger than it looked like from the outside, with space for at least three more Volleyball fields.  
Slowly more students entered the gym. It didn't take very long for them to notice the unknown person that was standing in the gym they always practiced in.

"Hey Yukie, did ya guys finally find a new manager?" You looked up at a guy with dirty blonde hair and narrow eyes.  
"Oh, a new manager? Took you long enough!" Another boy with a smaller stature and a brown undercut joined.  
Soon enough you have caught the interest of all the team members who had just entered the gym hall. Though them staring you down only caused for your fight or flight response to kick in, as you slowly stepped backwards.  
Yukie seemed to notice your reaction when placing down the towels. She stepped between you and the boys.  
"No, she isn't a new manager! I just invited her to watch you guys practice."

Soon even Akaashi and Bokuto joined the crowd, taking a break from their jump serve practice.  
"I get it."  
All gazes were now on the golden eyed boy who had his chest once again puffed out, like some kind of weird bird you'd see in a jungle.  
"I mean who wouldn't want to see one of the top five spikers in the country practice?"  
He laughed with his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
Yukie continued, clearly ignoring Bokuto, which made you hold back a little giggle.  
"Right. Anyways, Fukurodani Volleyball team, this is (L/N) (Y/N). (L/N), this is the Fukurodani Volleyball team."  
Bokuto left out an offended "Hey, don't brush me off like that!" before you slightly bowed to the team members. "Sorry for barging in."  
You saw some of the members bowing back at you.

"Did I miss something?" Kaori was approaching you with two foldable chairs under each arm.  
She set them up when the coach shook his head. "Nope. The team was just about to start warm up." He clapped his hands. "Let's start with five laps around the gym, shall we?"  
With a few of the boys groaning, Bokuto walked ahead. "Let's go, guys!"  
You sat down on one of the chairs Kaori had just brought from the storage room. "He sure has a lot of energy."  
The coach laughed. "It's his job as a captain to keep his team motivated after all!"

'So he is the captain, too...'  
You leaned against the backrest of your chair and thought of how the streaky haired male had just lead the rest of the team out for lapses around the gym.  
It made you remember your captain in Middle School.  
If a captain really had the power to motivate the whole team, then why did she act the way she did? Rather than motivating you, she would always be the first to give up and say that the game was impossible to win. Hell, if she wasn't even motivated herself, then why was she captain in the first place?  
You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Your name is (L/N)-san, correct?"  
You looked at the coach who had just spoken up to you. You nodded your head as he smiled. "I'm Yamiji Takeyuki, the coach, as you could have guessed."  
He paused. "Are you a first year?"  
You rubbed your sweaty palms on the skirt of your uniform, in an attempt to dry them. "No sir, I'm in second year."  
Kaori let out a frustrated sigh. "All of the first years that applied so far were only interested in being a player in the team. And everyone else seemed to be more interested in the booth of the Basketball club beside ours."

The smile on the coach's lips disappeared as he grumbled. "It's always the Basketball club giving us trouble, isn't it?"  
Yukie exhaled. "We decided to ask around, whether there still might be people in second year who weren't in any clubs yet. The only one was (L/N)." She grinned.  
'So that's how they found me...'  
It in fact did throw you off a bit how they just instantly had called out to you, seemingly knowing who you were and that you weren't in any clubs. But considering how many other people have already invited you to join their clubs before, you might have been known for not being in any clubs.

The coach nodded. "I see, I see. You were probably focusing on your studies, weren't you?"  
Your grades in total weren't great. Though they also weren't bad either. Just the perfect average. This hadn't changed even while visiting the Volleyball club in Middle School. But what else would you tell the coach?  
"Sort of." Your voice was dry.  
Wrapping his arms in front of his chest, the coach continued. "It's nice to have you here, though. Even if it isn't as manager... Yet."  
You tried to ignore the last word of his sentence before he continued. "Some audience might motivate the team to put more energy into practicing!"

He stood up from his chair when seeing Bokuto run into the gym again, followed by his team. While most of the members were out of breath, their captain barely showed any signs of exhaustion and still had the same smile plastered on his face that he left with. Just how much energy did this guy have?  
The coach clapped his hands once again. "Alright. Now that everyone is warm, let's start with the usual routine."  
You watched as the team split up in an all too familiar position which allowed them to practice both blocks and spikes in rotation, while their coach set the ball for each player.  
The player with the brown undercut stood in the same position you used to stand: stanced behind the spiker, ready to save blocked balls.

As you watched him jump from ball to ball, Yukie saw how your expression turned sour, even if it was just a tiny bit.  
Originally she had only invited you in hope that she could actually interest you to become a manager. She wasn't sure as to what your past with Volleyball was. But judging from how your expression had brightened up when talking about it, it wasn't hard for her to understand that you, at least at some point in your life, must have loved Volleyball. Though of course something must have happened for you to look the way you did right now. And it pained her to see you that way, but she also wasn't sure how to adress the issue.

"The injury you talked about."  
Kaori finally initiated a conversation. When turning your head to her you saw the concerned expression on her face.  
"Is it all good now? I mean, does it still affect you in any way, or...?"  
You shook your head. Even without noticing it, little by little you felt more comfortable talking to the girls sitting beside you, which probably was the reason why you decided to answer Kaori's question in the first place. "I fractured my Talus. My ankle bone, I mean... But it's all healed up."  
Your gaze shifted back to the boy you had assumed to be the Libero, who was still trying his best to save the blocked spikes.  
"The doctor said it wasn't anything fatal. Though it could have been."  
You paused as your eyes moved to the floor. "I got the injury on a tournament... I overexterted my foot more than I should have."

You remembered that one particular dive in the second set of the game. Not only had you clashed against the borders that seperated the player area from the spectator area, you had also managed to twist your ankle in a rather unfavorable way when landing. You were able to save the ball in the end and yet... There was nobody who continued to play it to the other side of the court.

You snapped out of it as the explosive sound of a ball slamming against the floor echoed through the whole gym hall. It was almost deafening.  
You looked up to see Bokuto lifting both of his arms up in the air.  
"Hey hey heyyy!!!"  
He shouted through the whole gym. Weirdly enough to you, the other players didn't seem to be bothered by it at all.

Yukie snickered. "The audience seems to give him even more energy than usual."  
Your eyes widened. "That sound just now was from him spiking?!"  
Kaori nodded. You knew that Bokuto was one of the top five aces in the country. But never had you expected the amount of sheer force behind one of his spikes to be this powerful. Nor did you expect yourself to feel restless, almost wondering whether you might be able to reveive a powerful spike like that. You quickly shook that thought out of your head.

Before stepping into the gym, you had felt concerned. Now thinking about it, you finally knew why.  
Somewhere deep down, you must have already been aware that as soon as you'd set foot in the gym to watch the gym play, it would leave you restless.  
It was the same feeling you used to have before every match in Middle School. The heart beating like crazy in your chest, your fingers fiddling around, as if they forgot how to stay still, and you imagining yourself saving every ball you got.

It used to be a feeling of joy and excitement.  
Now it was just a feeling of anxiety.

"Alrighty team, time for an actual practice match."  
As soon as the coach said that, the whole team gathered up any stray balls that were still laying on the floor. After that they split up in two teams.  
Only then you reallized that there were only eight people in the whole team. "I somehow expected the team to be much bigger..."  
Kaori let out a sigh at your comment. "It was! However, most players last year were third years. And now after they graduated these are the only members left, including first years."  
You gulped. "Including first years?!"

It surprised you, as Fukurodani Academy certainly was not a small school.  
Kaori nodded. "There still are some applications incoming though, so hopefully there should be just a few more first years joining this year."  
Yukie suddenly jumped up from her seat. "Oh, that reminds me of something!"  
She slowly made her way to the exit. Kaori also stood up from her seat. "Yukie, what's up?"  
Before the redhead could leave, she turned to her friend with a ponytail. "I actually got a few more applications today. I wanted to look over them with you, but I forgot them in the club room."  
You watched as both girls talked but soon turned your head to the court as soon as you heard the sound of the coach blowing into a whistle, announcing for the practice game to begin.

You glanced to the side to see Kaori stepping closer and sitting down again.  
Noticing that you were looking at her, she smiled. "Sorry. Manager stuff. Yukie will be right back."  
You nodded. "That's fine."

Seeing how things were, you soon realized that despite the team being rather small, the two managers behind it were still fairly busy.  
In Middle School you never got an insight on how much the managers of your team actually did. Rather than that you were much too focused on improving your skills as a Libero.

Running out of topics to talk about, you eventually focused on the game. Kaori soon explained to you who everyone was and what position they were usually in.

As usual for an ace, Bokuto was a Wing Spiker. Additionally he also functioned as Outside Hitter. He was in third year. This did make sense, him being the captain of the team, however thinking back to how this guy fell for such a simple trick at the bakery shop in the morning, it left you a bit confused at the thought that his guy was actually an upperclassman.  
You were also surprised to hear that his friend, Akaashi, was not only a setter, but also vice captain of the team, despite only being a second year, like you were.

While Kaori explained to you what each and every player's specialty was, you followed the ball with your eyes.  
You gritted your teeth. When would this feeling of restlessness ever leave?  
You saw how Bokuto, yet again, hit another spike. He almost seemed to have perfected this technique.  
The boy, whom Kaori just had pointed out as Libero of the team, slid with his body across the floor in an attempt to reach the ball. But before he could, it had already hit the floor.  
He clicked his tongue before the other players gave him a pat on the shoulder along with a "Don't mind."

Another point for Bokuto's team. And thus another round began, with the dirty blonde boy, you had learned to be called Konoha Akinori, serving it to the other side of the field, where it was received by someone. Your eyes still plastered to the ball when you watched how yet another ball was played to Akaashi. You already knew that he was going to set it to the ace once again.  
Bokuto's golden eyes were gleaming in anticipation as he strode forward.

From outside the gym you heard footsteps approaching and eventually entering the gym hall. "I got the applications!"  
It had only been a split second when you had glanced from the ball to Yukie, when you heard some of the players calling out to her.  
In an attempt to save the ball that Bokuto had just spiked down, Haruki, had accidentally kicked it, accelerating it towards the manager's head.

To you, that moment almost passed as if in slowmotion. Before even being able to call out to Yukie, you felt how your body moved on it's own, running towards the ball.  
This time, not in an attempt to save it, but rather in an attempt to save the girl who was just about to get the full force behind it, blown against her head.

The ball was fast. But it wasn't impossible to reach. You knew that. And you knew the feeling you had, when your hand finally was able to reach and block it, just a few milimeters away from Yukie's face.  
In the past this used to be a feeling of euphoria, being able to save a ball that seemed almost too absurd to save. But at this moment the feeling of excitement and success you felt, soon turned into a deep, sinking feeling in your stomach

While you may have stopped the ball from hitting her face, you were still moving, your legs eventually unable to keep up with the speed, and you sliding across the hardwood floor, like you used to many times before.  
You remembered how usually your knees and elbows were protected by thick pads when playing Volleyball. And when you turned around from lying flat on your stomach, to sit up on the floor, you also remembered why.  
With the friction that was between your knees and the floor when sliding against it, it had left raspberry colored turf burns on them.

The ball had long been forgotten as half of the team along with the managers rushed up to you, while you were still sitting on the floor.  
"(L/N), your knees! Are you okay?!"  
It was probably the first time you had seen Yukie looking so concerned, as she usually had a soft expression on her face.  
You tried to reply, but the feeling of having a lump stuck in your throat stopped you from doing so.  
"I'll go get a first aid kit!" You saw Kaori rushing out of the gym hall, before you were even able to call out to her.  
"I'm... I'm okay." When you finally managed to answer Yukie, her expression soon returned to its usual, gentle state. 

Haruki, who was the Libero, who had attempted to save the ball prior, let out a nervous laugh. "If you weren't here I would have become a murderer today." 

You felt your fingernails digging into your palms as you tightened your fists.

Another member laughed out loud. "True! That ball was crazy fast though! I'm honestly amazed you were able to reach it!"

Your heart was still pounding against your ribcage, making you feel even more restless than before.

The coach also soon stepped closer, pushing up his glasses. "That was indeed an incredible reaction time. I'm actually more than impressed. For a split second I was already getting ready to call 119."

You wanted it to stop.  
The ecstatic feeling within you, the memory of how light you felt when running after that ball, the elated feeling you had when touching the ball and the way your legs tingled, as if they were asking for you to move around so much more, when hearing how excited everyone around you got.  
All of that just made you realize how much you had actually missed Volleyball.  
This was not what you were here for.

After all you had come here to finally leave Volleyball behind you. Not to reintroduce it into your life again.

You saw a pair of legs step in front of you. When looking up you saw that they belonged to the ace of the team. And for the first time you were actually not able to tell from the expression on his face what he was thinking.

He offered you a hand. Only when reaching out for it, you noticed how your hands were shaking, probably still from the adrenaline that was still rushing through your body.  
You grabbed his hand, realizing how much bigger and sturdier it was compared to yours, before Bokuto could pull you up.

"Thank you..." You avoided his gaze. He however, did not break his from you. Neither did he let go of your hand when you wanted to pull away. Noticing this, you looked back at him.  
He still had this unreadable expression on his face. And before you were able to ask him to let go of your hand, he spoke out, in an unusual calm voice.

**"Why did you stop playing?"**

You felt your whole body tense up at his question. But you didn't answer. You couldn't.

"With your reactions and your speed... Even the way you landed. You were clearly playing at some point and you weren't bad at it either, so why did you stop playing?"

There it was again. That stupid question that seemed to freeze your whole body.

Why did you stop playing?  
You did enjoy, no, even loved playing Volleyball.  
You had loved it with all your heart, even willing to risk your health over it. No matter what, as long as you could play another round, you would give it everything you got. Even if the chances were bad.  
So why?  
Why did you stop playing?

_"It was just a school tournament, right?"_

Your body moved on it's own when pulling your hand away from his grip. Before you even knew it yourself, you had stormed past the people surrounding you and ran out of the gym.  
Even past Kaori, who was just about to enter with a first aid kit in her arms.

You just wanted to run.  
Away from whatever you were feeling right now.  
Away from the team sport that has been haunting you ever since you had tried to leave it behind.  
Away from the feeling of only being disappointed in the future again.

You just ran as fast as you could, eventually reaching the train station in only a third of the time, it would usually take you to walk from the school to where your train home would descend. You tried to catch your breath while ignoring the burning sensation on your knees.  
Wanting to get out your train card, you grabbed your wallet out of the pocket of your skirt, along with your phone.  
You felt unusually light. And soon you realized why.

"Shit..."

You had forgotten your bag in the gym.

What a horrible day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting from this chapter, there are going to be many more interactions with Bokuto along with his team!  
> It was a long chapter, but I hope you are still holding on, as this story is just about to begin @_@


	6. Breaking the Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Bokuto always found a way to keep his team and people around him motivated, he also always said what was going through his head. Depending on the occasion this could be either good or bad.

In contrary to what many people believed, Bokuto was very observant.  
Especially in matches, he was able to calmly analyze the situation and act accordingly.  
Though of course he was very perceptive, it wasn't just about his surroundings. He was very observant of the people around him, too.  
You, in first hand, did not expect this at all. Especially after the boy hadn't even noticed your presence at the bakery shop, before.  
The more it surprised you when Bokuto asked why you had stopped playing.

He had seen the way your body acted, when rushing to the ball.  
By the way you moved, and even by the way you landed on the floor, he was able to tell that you clearly had experience in receiving and saving balls rushing towards the floor - or in this case rather saving Yukie.

It wasn't rare for Liberos to have bruises. More than that, it was rather normal.  
However, when Bokuto had stepped closer to you, he wasn't able to spot any. Only the turf burns on your knees that wouldn't even be there, had you had knee pads.  
Everything he had seen pointed to you having experience in Volleyball. But it also pointed to you having stopped playing.  
When he had asked you why, it was almost more of a guess than a question.  
Still, despite him being as perceptive as he was, he definitely did not expect you to react the way you did and run out of the gym, leaving him and the rest of the team dumbfounded.

Konoha sighed. "Great, Bokuto. You scared away our potential new manager."  
He snapped back. "H-Hey, what's that supposed to mean?! I just asked her a question!"  
Yukie let out a nervous sigh. "It seems like you did touch a very sensitive topic though."  
The spiky haired male placed his hands on his sides. "It's true, though! She seemed to have played before. I was just wondering why someone as skilled as her wasn't actively playing anymore."

The team was surprised at the curiosity of the captain.  
They did however know how observant he was, despite him often joking around.

Bokuto had only started enjoying Volleyball not too long ago, when he had finally changed his spiking technique, making him nearly invincible and thus one of the top five aces in the country.

Improving, setting new goals for himself and then experiencing that one certain moment in which he knew that all his hard work had finally payed off.

The moment when he finally broke through the enemies' wall that was in front of him.  
The moment when he finally was able to score yet another point for his team.  
The moment that made him feel like he truly was worthy to carry the title as an ace.  
That's what motivated him to play.

To Bokuto it was a matter of whether "that moment" existed for someone or not.  
If you experience that moment, he always thought, it'll really get you hooked on Volleyball.  
And when he saw you jump after that ball, as if it was completely natural to you, even with the slightest hint of a smile on your lips, it was clear to his eyes that you had already experienced that moment several times in your life. You were hooked on Volleyball. So why did you stop playing?

It would have completely made sense to him if you had stopped playing Volleyball because you weren't good at it.  
But you were great. Hell, in his eyes you were amazing. Which was why he failed to comprehend the reason behind why you would have stopped playing.

Though of course the reason behind that, was much more complex than to be able to tell by simply looking at you. At least to you it felt that complex, even though it most probably wasn't.

Kaori stepped through the door with the first aid kit still in her arms. "Uhm... Did something happen? I just saw (L/N) run out."  
Silence filled the gym hall once again.  
Akaashi let out a sigh. "Bokuto-san scared her away."  
Bokuto flinched at the setter's remark. "Not you too, Akaashi!"  
Yukie shook her head. "No... It isn't Bokuto's fault." 

Yukie only meant well when she had invited you. Still she felt responsible for the outcome of the whole situation.  
Of course the team didn't know this. But they did not dare to ask any further, either.  
The coach scratched the back of his head before clapping his hands one more time. "Either way. Let's resume practice, shall we?"

The team soon went back to their previous spots and resumed the practice match where they had stopped before.  
Kaori's gaze shifted to her redheaded friend as she let out a frustrated groan.  
"I guess I can bring this back then." She hinted at the first aid kit in her arms.  
But before she could leave the gym, something caught her eye. "Oh."  
She looked at the seat that you had jumped from in order to save Yukie not too long ago.  
"She forgot her bag."

***

"(Y/N), is something wrong? You haven't touched your dinner at all. Are you feeling unwell?"  
Sato stepped closer and layed her hand on her forehead to see whether you had a fever.  
You pulled your head away. "No, I'm fine, really!"  
Really as in you really weren't doing fine at all. Your mind was a total mess.

It was evening. After realizing that you had forgotten your bag in the gym, you decided to just go home. There was nothing important in the bag anyways, except for your notebooks and some other school supplies. You were sure that it would somehow find it's way back to you, without you having to enter the gym again. At least you hoped so.

Sato sat back down onto her pillow. Both of you were having dinner, sitting at the living room table as a game show was running on TV. A typical evening for both of you, as your parents were both still at work.

You heard when Sato sharply inhaled, as if she were in pain.  
"More than that, are you okay, Sato-san?"  
She laughed. "It's my back... But it's nothing out of the ordinary. I won't get any younger, you know?" She let out a soft chuckle before taking another sip of her tea.

You looked at her. Some part of you still had a hard time believing that she once used to be an Olympic marathon runner. Of course she would never lie to you - but upon seeing her small stature and almost frail looking limbs, she just seemed like a total different person than the one in the photo albums she often showed you.

"Oh, speaking of which."  
She put down her cup and looked up to you. "Would it be okay to ask you to take Mochi for some morning and evening walks, the next few days?"  
Upon hearing his name the fluffy Malamute with golden eyes walked into the room, head tilting to the side as if he was asking who had just called him.  
Sato chuckled at the sight of that. No matter how long she took care of Mochi, she could never get tired of the looks he gave her whenever she called out for his name.  
"Yes you, sir. Come here."  
Mochi stepped closer to Sato and layed his head on her lap while she was petting his head. You couldn't help but smile at the wholesome scene.

"It's just that not only my back, but also my leg has been acting funny, lately. I could just let him out in the garden, but I don't want to rob him of his walks."  
She paused while looking down on her fluffy son, who was clearly enjoying the head pats he got. "I mean, of course if that isn't a bother to you. I don't want to hold you back on some homework, or something!"  
Seeing how Sato's expression changed into a worried one, you could almost feel her motherly care.

You let out a soft laugh. "It's fine, Sato-san. I enjoy walking with Mochi. He keeps me fit, too!"  
You looked unter the table to greet Mochi, whose head was still comfortably placed on his owner's lap. "Right, Mochi?"  
Usually he would get excited and jump up when you talked to him in that tone of voice. But seeing how comfortable he was right now, he could only let his tail wag faster and faster.

Sato let out a sigh of relief. "I'm really thankful for your help, (Y/N)."  
You smiled. Sato had often thanked you for the most minor things. However, you always felt like you owed her, since she also has done a lot for you. Even though both of you weren't even related, she always treated you and your parents like her own family.  
She gave you a spare key to her place and told you to come over whenever you felt like it, she prepared dinner for you, despite you always telling her that you would like to cook for her instead, she spoiled you and always made sure to buy your favorite snacks and no matter what, she always gave it her all to encourage and motivate you.

_"If you truly love something, hold onto it. Even if you are bad at it, it doesn't matter, just never give up. Do your best and get better in what you love doing."_

You bit your tongue.  
Standing up from the table, you grabbed the empty dishes on it and brought them to the sink in the kitchen. "Oh (Y/N), I can do the dishes. You still have homework, don't you?"

You gulped. Right. Homework. Another thing that was inside the bag you had forgotten at the gym. You brushed it off. "It's fine. I... I don't have any!"  
You placed the dishes in the sink and let the water run. "Well, as long as you're not fooling around... Thank you, (Y/N)."

As you lathered the dishes up with soap you tried to remember what subject you had your homework due, tomorrow.  
It soon dawned on you.  
Literature.  
With Mr Anger Issues who never failed to beat up your desk.  
You let out a sigh of exhaustion. Thinking about it, your day has been nothing but a mess.  
First the bakery shop incident, then Yukie and Kaori inviting you to watch Volleyball practice, afterwards you actually going and meeting the bakery boys there again and to top it all off, you running out of the gym and forgetting your bag.

You heard how Mochi stepped into the kitchen, with his claws hitting against the floor. It just seemed like the Malamute knew very well that all the food in the house came from the kitchen, including his own.  
As he looked up at you with his golden eyes, you couldn't help but remember the team captain standing in front of you, without ever breaking eye contact.

_"Why did you stop playing?"_

You tried to shake his irritating voice out of your head.  
Another sigh managed it's way past your lips.  
'Maybe I should just skip, tomorrow...'

***

5 AM. A horrible time to get up.  
And an even more horrible time to leave the house.  
However, there was a very active Malamute next door waiting to be taken out for a walk, and you knew that.

Malamutes were usually rather laid back, compared to, for example, Huskies.  
However, with the way Mochi was raised, being taken out on long walks at least twice a day, he has grown to love the outdoors.  
You knew that. And thinking of how excited he got whenever he got to go out was probably the only thing that made you even consider getting up at 5 AM.

You grumbled upon hearing the horrible buzzing of your alarm clock.  
In Middle School you always used to go out for to jog before going to school. But after leaving the Volleyball Club and having to recover from your injury, that habit eventually faded, introducing you to the joys of having a few more hours to sleep before having to get up.

Letting out a groan, you made yourself ready, grabbed your water bottle and walked to the house next door.  
Upon opening the door with the spare key Sato gave you, you could already hear Mochi rushing towards you, excited for his walk.  
Sato followed him with his harness in her hand. A troubled smile made its way on her lips. "Good morning, (Y/N)! Sorry to bother you about this again."

She handed you the harness.  
You shook your head. "Good morning. And as said, Sato-san, it's no trouble at all."  
You kneeled down to put the harness on Mochi, while he was excitedly tapping around on the floor with his paws. After that you gave him a pat on his head.  
He licked your hand in response. You giggled as you fixated the leash onto Mochi's harness. "We will be off, then."  
Sato smiled and waved you off, before you left the house. "Take care, both of you!"

As soon as you opened the door, you felt how Mochi basically pulled you out of the house.  
Having walked with him several times, he always seemed to remember the route you would always take.  
However, having grown up with a former Olympic marathon runner, Mochi was rather used to a quicker pace, forcing you to jog with him.

The route you usually took was the same one you used to jog in Middle School.  
It was alongside a river which lead to the park and finally stopped close to a train station.  
Depending on how exhausted you were, you sometimes took the train back to the closest station from your home. However, this only happened very seldomly.

You tried to keep your breath as steady as possible while staring down the riverside.  
It brought back a lot of pleasant memories, thinking of how you used to jog here every morning. But also a lot of unpleasant ones.

Eventually you reached the park.  
'Somehow I remembered this to be a lot easier...'  
Your lungs were burning, as you tried to grasp as much of the fresh morning air as you could.  
It seemed like you were out of form after all. You looked at Mochi who was panting happily with his tongue out.  
"Mochi, heel!" 

Hearing that, the Malamute finally slowed down his pace, turned around and sat down in front of you, while you were still trying to catch your breath.  
The park was visibly empty, except for the few people who also had decided to do some morning activities.  
You opened your water bottle. Forming your other hand into a small bowl, you poured some water in it and bent down. "Here boy, have some!"  
Given the size of your hand and the size of Mochi's tongue, it didn't take very long for him to drink up.  
You laughed when he carefully looked at you, as if in a manner to ask whether he could have some more.

His eyes were golden. Almost the exact same shade as the ones of the Volleyball club's ace you met yesterday.  
And they kept on reminding you of the incident that had occured the day before.

_"Why did you stop playing?"_

Why did he even care, you thought.  
More than that, it almost annoyed you that he had asked such a simple question that had such a complex answer.  
How would you even reply to that?

'How irritating.'  
You gritted your teeth as you offered Mochi another handful of water, who thanked you afterwards by brushing his cold nose against your face. You laughed.  
"Thanks, Mochi."  
You were about to drink something yourself, before hearing a voice.

**"Hey, it's you again!"**

It seemed familiar. But you couldn't remember who it belonged to. Or rather didn't want to remember.  
Without turning your head around, you closed your water bottle and picked up on speed again. Mochi happily followed you.  
Surely that person wasn't calling out to you, right?

"Hey, don't run away!!! I want to ask you something!"  
Despite your fatigue, you felt your legs running even faster. Were these perhaps the effects of fight or flight?  
There was no reason for either though, you thought. What were the chances? There was no way that **he** could also be out for a jog at 5 AM. 

But he was.  
And it didn't take very long until he eventually caught up to you and stood in front of you, stopping you from running away - the young man who was known as one of the top five spikers in Japan, Bokuto Koutarou.

You almost ran into him when he decided to stop in front of you, with Mochi still pulling on the leash. Thankfully he soon noticed you stopping.

The ace smiled at you, without any signs of exhaustion on his face. If anything, he seemed energetic, despite it being early morning.  
"Mochi. Heel."  
You almost hissed that sentence, but being a the well trained dog he was, Mochi obliged, sitting down beside you.

You finally dared to make eye contact with the young man in front of you.  
You noticed him staring at the dog, who was sitting and panting happily beside you.  
You saw the gleam in Bokuto's eyes when he sheepishly shifted his gaze back and forth between you and Mochi.

You let out a sigh.  
"You can pet him. Make sure you let him sniff your hand first, to get acquainted with you, though."  
It were moments like this that troubled you, that despite the rather reserved nature of Malamutes, Mochi seemed to enjoy any kind of attention he got - even from strangers.  
And despite thinking that Bokuto's eyes couldn't brighten up even more, they did. "Really?!"  
You nodded and watched how Bokuto kneeled down and slowly reached out his hand for Mochi to sniff it.  
The dog soon began to wag with his tail and licked Bokuto's hand, who giggled in response.

Looking at both, you couldn't help but think that they both looked somewhat similar.  
Golden eyes, the color of Mochi's black and white fur compared to Bokuto's wildly styled hair... And also that sunshine kind of character they seemed to have around them.  
It almost was as if two worlds collided.

You watched as Mochi slobbered on Bokuto's face, who was clearly enjoying it, as he buried his fingers in the soft fur of the Malamute while letting out a "Good boy!!" inbetween his laughter.

The grip around your water bottle tightened. "Bokuto, what did you want to ask me?"  
Upon hearing his name, he looked at you. "Oh, right!"  
He jumped back up, putting his hands on his hips with a boyish grin on his face. "What was your name again?"  
Silence.

Had he really just ran up to you, to ask you what your name was?  
For a second you even debated on just dashing off again. But seeing how he easily caught up to you, earlier it probably wasn't even worth a try, you thought.

You replied coldly. "It's (L/N) (Y/N)."  
He placed a finger on his chin and nodded in a pensive manner. "I see, I see."  
Your eyes swiftly glanced behind the boy.  
You almost expected for the dark haired setter to be somewhere behind, but nobody was there. 

To say that Bokuto wasn't good with words, might be far off. As an extroverted and talkative person, he was one of the people you'd get along with easily.  
He knew how to break the ice and would always find new topics to talk about, even if they were most certainly rather random.  
Still, if someone were to say that Bokuto wasn't good with words, they might soon be proven to be wrong, after just spending a few minutes with him.

However, it was a matter of how to use words in a smart way.  
While Bokuto always found a way to keep his team and people around him motivated, he also always said what was going through his head.  
Depending on the occasion this could be good. But it also could be bad.  
In the case of you storming out of the gym, it probably was latter.  
And in the case of you standing in front of him, the morning after this incident had occured, it definitely was latter.

"Say, (L/N)..." Bokuto lifted his head back up, when you turned yours back to him. "Do you enjoy Volleyball?"  
You froze.  
You couldn't answer that question.

Did you enjoy Volleyball?  
You thought of the excitement you used to feel before every match and the restlessness that would always want to keep you moving, even after a match had already long ended.  
And you thought of the sense of joy you felt, when your hand managed to reach the ball, yesterday.  
You clearly enjoyed Volleyball. No matter how you tossed or turned it.  
And Bokuto was able to sense that.  
Still, would you ever admit to it, yourself?  
Probably not. At least not with the way things went before.

Mochi let out a small whine upon seeing you shift your gaze to the ground. He licked your hand that was holding onto his leash.

"Do you like your team, Bokuto?"  
Upon hearing your counter question, his eyes widened in surprise, with his eyebrows lifting up.  
He soon put on one of the brightest smiles you've ever seen on him, at least since getting to know him. "Yeah! I do!"  
He lifted his head. "My team members are amazing! And they are strong. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. But together we form a strong team, ready to take on anyone! Even if they have to put up with me sometimes."  
His laughter turned into a slightly nervous one at the last sentence.

Your gaze shifted to the side. "I see... Must be nice."  
You briefly remembered how on some matches your team had already given up before they even began.  
Bokuto nodded. "But you haven't answered my question yet! Do you enjoy Volleyball?"  
You clenched your fists at his question. 

"How am I supposed to enjoy something, when I keep on getting discouraged by the people around me?"  
Your voice was louder than you had wanted it to be when saying that.  
Hell, you were even surprised that you answered at all.  
But given circumstances it felt like this boy wouldn't let you go until you answered his question.

"How am I supposed to enjoy Volleyball... When everyone else keeps on telling me that I should stop doing my best and that there is no use behind putting that much energy into it, anyways..."  
You continued. It was almost as if the dam, holding back all the thoughts you had carried for so long, finally broke upon the ace hammering his questions against it.

Your breath was shaking. And for some reason your heart was beating even faster, than when you were running, just a few moments ago.  
Bokuto on the other hand had the same expression he did, yesterday, before you ran out of the gym: unreadable but focused.  
An expression that was rather rare outside of a match for the team captain.

"I became one of the top five aces on my own, you know."  
You raised your head before he continued. "Of course I had the support of my team. But it was me who worked my way up."  
He pointed at himself with his thumb while his usual smile made it's way on his lips.  
The grip around your water bottle firmed up. "Why are you telling me this?"

He placed his hands in the pockets of his jersey and tilted his head to the side. "I think you still haven't answered my question, (L/N)."  
There it was again. The same feeling that had you running out of the gym yesterday. Except this time you couldn't run.  
"You say stuff about 'people around you' and 'everyone else'. But I asked whether **you** enjoyed Volleyball."  
You were taken aback by what he said. It almost made your blood boil.

"How would you understand? You have a team that supports you. A team, that is ready to face anyone, even if it means to lose."  
Even without wanting it, your voice became progressively louder as you tried your best to keep up the eye contact.  
"You didn't have people around you who kept on telling you that you shouldn't put that much effort into what you're doing, did you?"  
This was bad. Your voice was starting to crack and your eyes became watery.  
"And even if I do my best, what's the use behind it if everyone around me has already given up?"  
You felt your hands shaking.  
"What am I supposed to do when nobody is on the other side of the court to catch the ball that I worked my ass off to be able to receive for them? How am I supposed to enjoy Volleyball if that's what keeps on happening?"  
Your breath was shaky, forming small white clouds in the cold morning air.

Bokuto was not taken aback by the loudness of your voice. Not even one bit.

"But do you enjoy Volleyball?"  
"I already told you! How am I supposed to enjoy it if my best is worth nothing?!"  
Both of you at this point were shouting at each other.

"Then why do you give your best when playing?!"  
**"Because I want to win!!!"**

When the last sentence left your lips, you couldn't hold back the tears anymore.  
"Because I want to win and be the best in what I do..."

There it was.  
The answer that you have been searching for all this time.  
The answer to a question, that always seemed far too complex for you to answer.  
And yet it was so simple.  
You wanted to win.  
And upon saying it out loud, you somewhat felt a huge sense of relief.  
It was almost absurd, but it appeared that after years of looking for an answer, it all seemed clear to you now.

Mochi placed his head under your hand when seeing you wipe your tears away.  
How embarrasing, you thought. Here you were, crying in front of a guy, who you just had met yesterday.  
And yet, he wasn't bothered by it. Not in the slightest.

**"Then isn't that enough to continue playing Volleyball?"**

"Huh...?" When looking back at him you saw the smile he usually had on his face.  
He seemed to notice how baffled you looked.  
"I mean... You stopped playing, right? Why not pick up on it again?" He put a hand on your shoulder. "You enjoy it after all, don't you, (L/N)?"

You first looked to worried Mochi who was letting out another concerned whine, then to the ground in front of you.  
When Bokuto noticed how your shoulders were shaking, he realized that you had been crying just a while ago.  
He also realized that you could be crying again, at that moment.  
He quickly pulled his hand away. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just-"  
Only then he saw that you were laughing.  
Even if it was just a bit. For some reason tears were still coming up to your eyes, but you still couldn't hold back your laughter.  
Your laughter may have sounded sad at that moment. But it was genuine.  
You genuinely had to laugh about how it only took one stubborn team captain for you to finally find the answer you have been looking for, for so long.  
It felt idiotic to you. But it also felt like some of the weight on your shoulders was finally taken off by his energetic demeanor.  
It was the same you felt when being with Shira - you knew that she was hardworking and honest. Just like Bokuto. Though of course Shira was nowhere as energetic as the guy standing in front of you.

"Yes. Yes, I do."  
This guy really was too stubborn for his own good.  
He always spoke what was on his mind and was determined to let you know what he thought. He also was way too loud and had too much energy for others to be able to even keep up with him.  
And yet... 

**"I really enjoy Volleyball."**

You wiped the tears from your face.  
How come you never realized sooner? That the answer behind that question wasn't complex at all, but rather simple?

You sniffled.  
"But... If my efforts are for nothing, then what am I working so hard for?"  
While the issue as to how you felt about Volleyball was finally clear to you, there still was the one concerning the matter of why you had stopped playing in the first place.

Bokuto once again tilted his head to the side and placed a finger on his chin. "Hmm... Rather than getting discouraged, why not just try to have a good time?"  
You looked back at him, petting Mochi's head who, telling from his whines, still seemed quite concerned about you. "Have a good time?"

Bokuto nodded vigorously. "That's what my coach from Middle School always said."  
He crossed his arms in front of his chest and smiled. "Having a good time, but not as in making things easy... But rather as in making things more fun!"  
You had to hold back a small chuckle. While you only had met this guy yesterday, you already thought of how that was such a "Bokuto thing" to do.  
"Just keep on having fun. And eventually you will meet people who will feel the same way about Volleyball as you do! People who will support you and put just as much energy into it as you!"  
His boyish grin widened. "It may seem impossible. But it's not! It's just hard!"

How could a person be so bright?

You laughed softly. "I see."  
Who would have thought that such a simple minded boy could help you face the problems, you had seen to be way too complex to even attempt to solve?

"Bokuto-san, here you are!" You saw a black haired boy running towards you.  
"Oh, Akaashi! There you are!"  
Finally stopping next to his friend, he was still out of breath. "You were the one who just suddenly ran off."  
He gasped for air and greeted you with a small nod.  
You greeted back and watched as he tried to watch his breath while lecturing his friend at the same time. Bokuto just laughed it off.

'Eventually I will meet people who enjoy feel the same way about Volleyball, as I do, huh...?'  
While watching the two friends, you wondered whether Bokuto once has been in a similar situation as you were in right now.  
You even felt bad about telling him that he wouldn't understand your troubles.  
After all, you barely knew anything about the cheerful captain, who was still smiling to his heart's content despite his setter lecturing him.

"Then... I will pick up on Volleyball again."  
With suddenly speaking up, both of them looked at you. Akaashi with the same stoic expression as always and Bokuto with the same smile on his face, that he always had.  
"Yeah!" He nodded. "I'm sure you will do great!"

How come something that has been bothering you for almost two years suddenly was resolved in a matter of a few minutes?  
Perhaps it was just Bokuto radiating with energy.  
Or perhaps it was because you felt certain, that Bokuto would speak what was on his mind, without hiding anything.  
You weren't sure. But you felt thankful to the boy who had almost stolen your lunch, the day before.

You felt Mochi tugging on his leash. He was tired of sitting around and waiting.  
And whether you liked it or not, he was a strong dog. If he wanted he could just pull you across the park. Still, he was raised better than that.  
"Uhm... Mochi is getting a bit restless. I think I should go now."  
Bokuto laughed out loudly. "Alright, gotcha. Will be looking forward to seeing you play sometime!"  
You nervously chuckled. "Yeah... Anyways, see you guys." 

You slowly walked ahead. But before completely running off, you turned your head one last time to both of the boys who were waving at you.  
"Thank you!"  
With that both of the boys watched you run off with Mochi.

Akaashi turned his head to his friend. "What was she thanking you for?"  
Bokuto proudly puffed his chest out and put placed his hands on his hips. "I have saved yet another helpless soul from losing their path. Aren't I amazing?"  
Both soon started picking up on running again. "So you don't know?"  
Bokuto raised an eyebrow at the question of his dark haired friend. "Know what?"  
While looking straightforward, he replied. "There is no female Volleyball club at Fukurodani Academy."  
Bokuto gasped and his eyes widened. "There isn't?!"  
Akaashi continued. "Also you probably should have told her about her bag. She forgot it yesterday, no?"  
Bokuto let out another gasp. "I totally forgot about that! Wait actually, I'm sure I could catch up to her!"

When changing directions, Bokuto felt Akaashi grabbing him by the hood of his jersey. He was starting to run out of breath. "What are you, a stalker?"  
Bokuto flinched. "Stalker?!"  
Akaashi paused to breathe. "I'm certain that Yukie and Kaori will take care of that."  
Bokuto moved back to run beside his friend.

"Hmm... Too bad there's no female Volleyball club though. I would have loved to see her play."  
Akaashi let out a scoff. "You wanted to challenge her, didn't you?"  
Bokuto blinked and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You knew?!"  
The black haired laughed softly. Bokuto really couldn't hide anything from him.  
"That's fine. I feel like you will be able to challenge our new manager very soon."

Bokuto jumped. "We have a new manager? Do you know who them? Are they strong?"  
Akaashi sighed. Considering how perceptive the captain was, he still was helpless sometimes.  
Still, without even wanting it, he had the power to motivate the people around him, including you.

Perhaps he was the person that was missing in your life.  
Someone who would never falter or give up or leave something half finished.  
Someone who would compell you to give it your all because you could feel that he was also always giving his all.

Someone as bright as Bokuto.

As said, while Bokuto always found a way to keep his team and people around him motivated, he also always said what was going through his head.  
Depending on the occasion this could be good. But it also could be bad. 

However, in this case it most definitely was former.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Bokuto action! And reader finally warming up to him.  
> I tried my best to capture Bokuto's personality T-T  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	7. Press Firmly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Bokuto's eyes looked up to meet (Y/N)'s, she was able to recognize the way he was looking at her.  
> It was identical to the puppy eyes, Mochi, the neighbor's dog, would give her whenever he had done something bad, like dig through the trash or destroy one of his toys.  
> If it weren't for Mochi, (Y/N) might have become weak at the stares Bokuto were giving her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how many of you read the manga, but I based this chapter on something that was briefly mentioned in it!  
> I hope you're able to enjoy it :)
> 
> Also sorry for the late update, I was busy on working on my webtoon ;;;

"(Y/N), did you really just run all the way up to here?"  
You were a mess, face red as you tried to grasp for air when finally standing still in front of Shira who's been waiting for you at the train station.  
It was true, you had to run all the way to your and your friend's meeting point. All because the little incident you had at the park in the morning, made you arrive back home later than you had originally planned to.

You tried to catch your breath with your hands on your knees, when looking up at your friend. "Good morning to you too, Buttercup."  
Shira grinned upon hearing you giving her yet another cheesy nickname. She laughed. "Sorry. Good morning, Pork Chop."  
You finally managed to recover from the sprint you had just put behind you. If it weren't for the fact that you were still exhausted from the morning run, maybe you would have gotten there much quicker, you thought.  
But then again...

_"But isn't that enough to continue playing Volleyball?"_

Maybe the morning run wasn't that bad at all.

You jumped back up. "Alright, let's go!"  
Walking ahead to your platform, Shira blinked in confusion. "Uhm... (Y/N), did you forget your bag at home?"  
You halted. Right. Your bag. The one you left in the gym yesterday. The one with the literature homework that was due today.  
You let out another one of those exhausted sighs. "I forgot it at school, yesterday."  
Shira caught up to your pace, walking beside you as she scoffed. "At school?! How?"

You had to cringe at the memory of you storming out of the gym hall like that, yesterday. It was almost guaranteed that the team members were probably shocked, if not even weirded out by the way you had reacted to their captain. Still, eventually you probably would have to face them again. Or would you? You actually still weren't sure of that.

"Oh you know, just running around here and there." Before your friend could question you even further, you continued. "Actually, uhm... I wanted to ask you for some advice."  
Both of you arrived at the platform, now waiting for the train to arrive. "There... There is this one friend I have. Uhm..."  
Shira raised an eyebrow. "You have other friends beside me?"  
Upon seeing wrinkles appear on your forehead when glaring at her, she giggled. "I'm just kidding, Poopsie. What's with this friend?"

Never have you told Shira about your past with Volleyball. Nor have you told her about the incidents that had occured in the past few days. Not because you wanted to keep it a secret from her. Rather because you always had thought that it would be irrelevant, as you would not get involved with Volleyball ever again.  
And yet here you were, with these complicated feelings.  
Sure, it felt relieving to some degree having heard the team captain's words in the morning. But you still had your doubts. You couldn't help it. Just like how Bokuto was the kind of person to always speak up his mind without any second thoughts, you were the kind of person to overthink them probably way too much for your own good, before speaking them out. And sometimes it showed.

"You see, they were invited to join the... Soccer club!"  
The train arrived and both you and Shira stepped in, as she was still listening to you with a sly grin on her lips. You continued.  
"And they used to like Soccer. A lot, actually. But they had this one bad experience that made them quit playing."  
Seeing how there was only one seat available, you held onto the handle in front of it, gesturing to your friend to sit down, as you tried to explain your current situation to her, without actually having to confess something.

"They actually still like Soccer, but they are scared to make another bad experience like they did before."  
Shira sat down in front of you, still a smile on her lips. "Do you think they should still join the club?"  
It was quiet for a while, until you saw how your friend raised an eyebrow. "Well, honestly I think your friend is overthinking way too much."  
You tensed up at her response. "If they enjoy Soccer, why would they not join? Just because they experienced a minor inconvenience in the past, doesn't mean that it will determine their future."

You weren't actually surprised to hear this answer. More than that, you had expected your friend to answer this way.  
Still, hearing this kind of reassurance gave you a sense of relief, thus also confirming the feelings you have already felt after your encounter with the Volleyball team's ace at the park: You wanted to pick up on Volleyball again. And you wanted to give yourself another chance to work hard and not get discouraged by what people around you thought.  
This may have been a rather sudden change of heart, considering how you thought about Volleyball just the day before.  
But perhaps the simplemindedness and the tone in which the captain spoke to you that morning, gave you a weird sense of ambition.  
And as strange as it may seemed, it made you want to hope for the best, even though the best so rarely occured, and even when it did, it could be lost so easily.

"Yeah... You might be right."  
Usually the ride to the station near your school would be filled with nonsense conversations and giggles with Shira. This time however, both of you seemed to be more quiet than usual. While looking out of the window you weren't even able to realize how Shira took notice of the band aids you had sloppily put onto the turf burns on your knees, the evening before.  
She couldn't help but hold back a smile at the thought of how bad of a liar you actually were when it came to her.

Shira raised her head to look at you. "Hey (Y/N), you got literature today, right?"  
You once again tensed up at the mention of literature class.  
"You forgot your bag in school though. What are you going to do about your homework?"

***

You glanced at the clock hanging on the wall of the hallway, before glancing back at your friend. "You think he'll be here?"  
Shira nodded. "Usually there should be a staff meeting everyone has to attend to, in about ten minutes. Fat chance he wouldn't be there."  
You were standing in front of the teachers' room, as your friend had suggested to ask for the teacher who would have the keys to open the room your bag was kept in. This would be the coach of the Volleyball club, Yamiji.

You felt a hand on your shoulder. "Sorry, but I gotta go ahead to my classroom. See ya at lunch?"  
Shira had an apologetic smile in her lips. As much as you hated the thought of having to speak to someone you barely knew on your own, you also didn't want to keep your friends waiting. Nor did you want her actually finding out where exactly you had forgotten your bag and why. At least not yet.  
You nodded. "Sure. Let me know if something comes up."  
She pulled her hand from your shoulder and waved at you. "Will do, Honey Bee! Byeee!"  
With that she walked off.  
A relieved sigh made its way past your lips, but you still felt yourself tense up, standing in front of the door of the teachers' room.  
You were about to knock when the door suddenly swung open.

"Don't forget my orange juice! And make sure you're back in time before the meeting! You were already late yesterday!"  
The gray haired man with glasses who had just opened the door sighed. "I know, I know. I'll hurry up."  
Yamiji glared at his colleague and you had to take a step back, so that he wouldn't walk into you before he turned his head and took notice of your presence. "Oh, it's (L/N)-san!"  
You were surprised that he coach of the Volleyball club had instantly remembered your name. Then again, after the incident the day before it might have been rather hard to forget.

His expression brightened up. "Something you need? Want me to call your homeroom teacher or something?"  
You hesitantly shook your head. "Uhm... No, actually I wanted to talk to you, Yamiji."  
The coach's eyes widened at your statement, but the smile on his lips never left as he readjusted his glasses. "Oh, sure! How can I help you?"  
For someone his age he rather seemed energetic, you thought. This, and the dark gray streaks in his hair, somewhat reminded you of Bokuto.  
But wait a minute, why were you thinking of him, _again_?

You cleared your throat, before continuing. "I... I may have forgotten my bag in the gym when leaving yesterday."  
The memory of that flustered you. Still, you had to somehow finish your literature homework before classes with Mr Anger Issue would start. And the only way to do that was to reobtain your bag as soon as possible. "I was wondering whether it might still be in the gym, or perhaps in the club room if you have one. And if yes, I would like to go get it real quick, if possible..."

The coach in front of you straightened his back and placed the knuckle of his index finger on his chin. "Hm... I believe Shirofuku and Suzumeda took your bag. However, I heard them talking about one of them taking it home rather than leaving it unattended in the club room."  
You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach.

"Yamiji-sensei, you don't happen to know which classes they are in?"  
The man in front of you laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Sorry. I only know that they are third years."  
Starting to fumble with your fingers, your eyes wantered behind the coach, as you were actually able to catch a glimpse of your literature teacher in the background. "I see..."

While you were aware that both of the managers only meant well, you much rather preferred the idea of simply being able to quickly go to the club room to pick up your bag rather than having to run over to the third year building and ask around in every class until you'd finally find one of the managers. You wouldn't even have enough time for that.

"Hey, Takeyuki. You going to the vending machine or what? If you turn up late again drinks will be on you, this weekend!"  
The eyebrows of Yamiji furrowed at the remark of his coworker. "Oh, shut it! I'm helping someone out here!"  
He turned back to you as his expression softened up again. "Sorry, but was that everything you needed? I have a meeting in a few minutes."  
Averting your gaze to the floor, you felt your hands getting sweaty. "Uhm, actually..."  
Biting your tongue, before finally being able to look back up at the coach, you managed to raise your voice one more time.

"Do you happen to have any applications for the Volleyball team?"  
The man's eyes widened. "You... You want to apply?"  
You rubbed the back of your neck. "I mean... If the position as a manager is still open. Yeah."  
Looking back up to the coach you noticed his eyes glisten as he tried his best to hold back his tears of joy.  
You jumped. You weren't good with crying people, let alone a crying grown man, standing in front of you. "Uh..."

The coach sniffled as he removed his glasses to rub away the tears in his eyes. "Sorry, it's just..."  
He cleared his throat before continuing. "I was really worried about what had happened yesterday. I legitimately thought that all hope for the Volleyball team was lost, especially with the captain only having one braincell sometimes. I'm sorry if he offended you in any way."

You had to hold back a snicker at the comment about the captain the coach had just made, as it fit too well to the image of Bokuto you had in your head.  
Being the coach of the Volleyball team, Yamiji himself knew too well, how impulsively Bokuto would act sometimes.  
Contrary to what many people thought, Bokuto wasn't dumb. And Yamiji knew that.  
But saying out loud whatever what was going through his head, sometimes offended other people.  
Even if the ace never had any bad intentions.  
The coach had heard some of his students calling out to Bokuto's behavior as "acting as if he only used one single braincell", before.  
It weirdly fit in his opinion, however he never said it out loud until now.

Before you could answer to his apology he turned around, with a cracking voice. "I will get one, hold up."  
You watched him lifting his arm, perhaps wiping even more tears away. This man certainly was still a child at heart.  
He most definitely wasn't what you expected him to be from the short encounter you had with him the day before. But he seemed kind. And also much different compared to your coach in Middle School. This weirdly gave you a sense of relief.

"Hey Takeyuki, are you crying? Also where is my orange juice?" You heard the same colleague complaining to the coach, while he was walking to his desk. "Shut up, okay! This is a very emotional moment for me right now!"  
Despite the semester only having started, the coach, in fact, actually has been anxious of the team ending up without a manager in the upcoming one.  
While there were many Volleyball clubs he had encountered in tournaments, that didn't have a manager, to him it would feel like there would be something missing if there wasn't one.  
This, plus the fact that many of the current team members were third years, that wouldn't be there anymore next semester, made him feel quite sad, as it always did when having to watch his students graduate, despite the many years of him being the coach of the Volleyball team.

"Here we are!" Reaching the door step he handed you a sheet of paper that had "Application Form" printed on it. You took it from his hand and smiled. "Thank you, sir. That would be all, sorry for bothering you."  
Yamiji laughed. "No, not at all. Also I should be the one to thank you."  
He readjusted his glasses one more time. "I will have to go now though! There's practice again today at the same time as yesterday if you're interested."  
He smiled one last time. "See you around, (L/N)-san."  
You said your goodbyes before he finally closed the door, as the staff meeting would begin soon.

You sighed. Only once the door had been closed, you noticed how tense you actually were. Still, you were glad and even slightly proud of yourself for being able to ask for a club application, even though it was rather spontaneously.

You knew that there was no female Volleyball Club at Fukurodani Academy. And you also knew that you could only be a manager at the Volleyball Club.  
In fact you were aware of several Volleyball clubs out of school that you could apply for. But...

_"Just keep on having fun. And eventually you will meet people who will feel the same way about Volleyball as you do!"_

What Bokuto had said to you just wouldn't leave your mind. He almost sounded like he was speaking from his own experience. It had you wondering whether he had encountered a similar issue as you did at some point.  
Even if he did, he still was able to go on, unlike you. And in a way, it made you admire him, despite it only being an assumption.  
This, along with the fact of how highly he had spoken of his team made the urge to join the team in you, grow.  
If they got along with an individual that had such a strong personality as Bokuto, surely they would be able to get along with you as well, right?  
Still, the memory of how you probably must have left the team dumbfounded after running out of the gym, made you worry.

You reached your classroom and sat down on your seat, staring at the empty application sheet in front of you.  
'Wait...' You sighed as you remembered that your pencil case was in your bag. 'How am I going to fill out this sheet without a pencil?'

***

Unfortunately third period came much faster than you had wanted it to. Literature.  
A subject which, no matter how hard you tried, you just weren't able to enjoy. At least not in this universe.  
This may habe been either because of the subject itself, or maybe because of the teacher, Ito.

You weren't sure whether to just straight up tell the him about what has happened with your bag, along with the contents inside of it, or whether to just stay quiet and hope that he wouldn't realize.  
But the teacher was more perceptive to your own liking. Especially when it came to students who often fell asleep in his class (a.k.a. you).  
However, before you could even walk up to Ito, he straight up started the lesson.  
Ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty minutes... So far he wasn't suspicious of a thing.  
He hasn't even mentioned the homework he has given to his class. Maybe he had forgotten about it?  
Either way, if this would go on for thirty more minutes you would be safe from his lectures. However...

"And this is where we finally come to our homework. We talked about Faust by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Please hand in your interpretations as to why you believe Faust has handled the situation with the Devil, the way he did."  
You furrowed your eyebrows, looking at the teacher who was now making his rounds through the classroom, collecting the homework of the students.  
'Speaking of how to handle the situation with the Devil.'

You gulped as Ito finally stood in front of your desk. "(L/N)-san? I told you to get out your homework, didn't I?"  
You tried your best to avoid his gaze. Still, you felt it, almost as if he were shooting daggers from his eyes.  
"I... Uhm..."  
The male in front of you didn't budge at all. "Yes?"  
With your hands forming into fists you felt how more and more students were now looking at you, only making it harder for you to come up with what to say to the strict teacher standing in front of your desk.

"(L/N)-san, have you perhaps forgotte-"  
Before he could even finish the sentence, a loud alarm blared through the whole school building.  
The fire alarm.  
If it weren't for the fact that some part of the building might actually be on fire right now, you would call this incident too good to be true. Or in this case it was rather too perfectly timed to be true.

With a swift motion Ito rushed to the front of the classroom. "Everyone, take your most important belongings with you and follow me. No running in the hallway, we will be heading to the gathering point on campus."  
Having your most important belongings in the pockets of your skirt anyways, you took hold of the application form that was still laying on the desk in front of you.  
It almost had you wondering whether your bag would be left behind somewhere in the building and burnt to coal, but given the situation you were simply relieved that you were magically able to escape the unfortunate scenario of Ito lecturing you about how you should take his classes more seriously.

While there always has been a drill for the situation of a fire breaking out every semester, it always happened one or two months into the semester. This time however it was just the fourth day after it had started, making it rather unlikely to be a drill. By the look you had seen on Ito's face you could also tell that it couldn't have been something that was discussed in the staff meeting he had participated in that morning. So perhaps there actually was a fire breaking out somewhere in the building.

There was a set routine for how to act if a fire broke out in the school building. If it was during class, like in this case, the teacher would have to get the whole class to follow them to their designated gathering point, which was located at either the school gate area or on the sports ground, outside.  
Once the class, along with their teacher arrived, the teacher would have to count the students, making sure that nobody of their class was left behind.  
And after that it only was a matter of waiting until the trucks of the fire department would arrive.  
It was pretty well organized. Still, it was a rather stressful routine, especially with the loud siren blaring through the hallways of the school.

Finally on the sports field, Ito made sure to count through all his students more than once to be assured that everyone was there. He let out a sigh of relief.  
"Since everyone is here, you can now move around freely, as long as you don't leave the sports ground."  
You felt a shiver run down your spine when his eyes met yours. "If you decide to leave without permission, you will get in trouble."  
You gulped. 'Why did he feel like he was talking to me in particular?'  
When shifting your gaze to the side, he continued. "We will be meeting up again, once the situation has been looked into by the fire department."  
And with that the students were dismissed to move around freely on the sports field.

You swiftly looked around, in hope to maybe find your friend Shira, as there were many other classes that were gathered in the area you were in. However, there was no sign of her. Perhaps the gathering point of her class was at the school gate area. But as Ito stated before, you were of course not allowed to leave the sports field.

"You did WHAT?!"  
Your head turned to the voice you just heard shouting. And sure enough you saw the back of a head with blonde hair that was tied up in a pony tail, through the crowd of students.  
At first you weren't sure whether you should approach the girl, you assumed to be Kaori. But feeling how Ito only continued to shoot daggers with his eyes at you, it only triggered your fight or flight response, leaving you almost no choice but to flee from the teacher.  
As you stepped closer you soon saw more familiar faces.

"Kaori, I think you should tone down..."  
Yukie placed a hand on her friend's shoulder in an attempt to calm her down.  
Standing in front of both were few more students, you remembered seeing at practice yesterday, one being the team's captain with the flashy hairstyle, along with the team's Libero and two other other members you remembered to be both Wing Spikers. Perhaps most third years were gathered here. There however wasn't any sign of the pretty black haired setter, whom you'd usually see on Bokuto's side.

You stared at the blank application form that was still in your hand. 'Maybe it would be better to approach them when I actually filled it out...'  
Almost about to walk back to your class, Bokuto spotted you through the crowd of students.

"Mochi!"  
You halted. 'Mochi...?'  
The image of the golden eyed Malamute, you had just taken on a walk earlier, flashed before your eyes. Except it was actually just the Volleyball team's ace approaching you with a wide smile.  
Trying to ignore the fact that Bokuto had just called out for the name of your neighbor's dog instead of yours, your gaze wandered to the club members behind him who were also taking notice of you.

"(L/N)! Good thing to see you here!" Kaori quickly approached you, pushing Bokuto to the side who almost looked the tiniest bit insulted, but still had a smile in his face.  
Yukie and the other club members followed her and soon you were gathered by upperclassmen.  
She held out the bag that was hanging from her shoulder. "This is yours, right?"  
Visibly surprised, you hesitantly reached out for the bag she was handing to you. And sure enough, by the little charm that was dangling from the handle, you could immediately tell that it indeed was your bag.  
You let out a sigh of relief. 

"I didn't touch a thing in it, don't worry! I just thought taking it home with me might be better than leaving it somewhere unattended."  
Kaori scratched the back of her head in a bashful manner.  
"Thank you for taking care of it!"  
Trying your best to form a smile, you still felt your eyes wander to the ground. "And sorry about what happened yesterday..."  
You felt your grip around the handle of your bag tighten.

"If I was a girl, I also would be running away from Bokuto." You looked up at the boy with the blonde hair. You still weren't too familiar with the names of all team members, but you vaguely remembered him being Konoha.  
The team's Libero, Komi, snorted at his remark. "True."  
While Bokuto tried to stop both from making fun of him, you noticed how Yukie was staring onto the ground with a much weaker smile on her lips, than usual.

In a way you could feel that she felt responsible for what had happened. But you weren't sure. Nor did you knew how to talk about it without making the situation even more awkward.  
Your gaze wandered to the bag on her shoulders. Only then you had noticed how her friend was missing hers.

"Suzumeda, did you leave your bag in the school building?" You made eye contact with the the blue eyes girl standing in front of you.  
She laughed it off. "Yeah... I kind of forgot to take it with me, being all worried about your bag."  
You tensed up. She forgot her bag because she was taking care of yours?  
Noticing the worry in your expression, Yukie finally seemed to slowly go back to being her usual self. "Don't worry. It's not like there's an actual fire in the building."

You blinked. "What do you mean?"  
The gazes of the four students in front of you wandered to you, or rather to the person standing behind you.  
Komi rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "There he is, hiding behind his junior, one of the top five aces in the country."  
Only then had you noticed Bokuto standing behind you, putting you between him and the other team members, almost like some sort of wall to protect him.

You tilted your head to the side, looking at your upperclassmen. "Sorry... I can't quite follow."  
Kaori placed her hands on her hips. "IT WAS-"  
before she could continue shouting, Yukie rammed her elbow into the side of her friend, cutting her off. "What the hell Yukie, that hurt!"  
The red head sighed. "You shouldn't shout around like that, we might also get in trouble for it."  
Still in pain, Kaori clicked with her tongue. "Right... Sorry."

You raised an eyebrow while Kaori was still rubbing her side. Konoha stepped closer to you to whisper. "It was Bokuto who pressed the fire alarm."  
You almost jumped at hearing that statement. "IT WAS BOmmf?!"  
Yukie swiftly placed a hand on your mouth before you could finish your sentence.  
As soon as she took her hand from your mouth, you apologized, realizing the trouble you could have caused, had someone else heard you.

You glanced at Bokuto, who was fumbling with his fingers, realizing that you were now standing beside the red headed manager, rather than in front of him to protect him from confrontation. "But... Why?"  
Sarukui, grumbled. "Yeah captain, tell her _why_."

The expression on Bokuto's face was one you haven't seen before. His eyes were focused on the ground with his lips tightly pressed against each other and his hair weirdly drooping down. If you didn't know any better, you would say that he was looking intimidated.  
"The button... Alarm... Wondered... Firmly... Meant..."  
He whispered, fumbling with his fingers as you were barely able to make out what he said. "Sorry, could you repeat that?"  
Once again your sentence was repeated, this time by Konoha who was visibly annoyed. "Yeah cap, _could you repeat that?_ "

As Bokuto's eyes looked up to meet yours, you were able to recognize the way he was looking at you.  
It was identical to the puppy eyes, Mochi would give you, whenever he had done something bad, like dig through the trash or destroy one of his toys.  
If it weren't for Mochi, you might have become weak at the stares Bokuto were giving you.

"The button of the fire alarm said to 'press firmly'... I just wondered how firm 'press firmly' meant..."  
With that you were left speechless as you were trying to comprehend what the spiky haired male had just said. 

It almost was hard for you to believe that it was the same person who had told you in the morning to keep on doing what you love.  
This, along with the fact that the fire alarm caused by Bokuto, giving you the chance to escape from Ito's lecture about your missing homework, perhaps already made it two times that the simple minded captain had saved you in some way, even without actually wanting it.  
And yet here he was, the goofy looking guy who was one of the top five aces in the country.

It was impossible for you to not laugh at that. Just how did a person like he was, actually exist? He could be straight out of a Manga, you thought.  
You laughing out to your heart's content seemed to lighten the mood a bit, as Bokuto's face also slowly reverted back to it's usual state after looking at you in a baffled manner.  
This only marked the second time this guy had made you laugh out like that.  
For a minute you almost felt a bit stupid for feeling so tense around him and the other upperclassmen, as they were even used to dealing with people like Bokuto, making you probably the lesser of two evils for them.

Konoha sighed. "I wish I could laugh about that, too. I really do, but..." he crossed his arms in front of his chest and shuddered. "It's just a really, really... Really... _Really_ big pain in the butt."  
With Komi and Sarukui both vigorously nodding, you couldn't help but remember that Yukie had mentioned before how Bokuto was popular, but not in a way in which he would attract other people in a good way. Perhaps now you understood what she meant with that.  
And by how the club members were reacting in front of you, you were able to tell that this might not have been the first time in which they had to deal with Bokuto's shenanigans. Still, wondering of what else he has done before, made you giggle, which only made Bokuto's expression brighten up a bit more.

"Don't think we'll let you off the hook that easily just because you made your cute underclassman laugh."  
Kaori hissed at the captain, whose face soon tensed back up, looking the same it did, when he hiding behind you just a few minutes ago.

You exhaled, finally having calmed down.  
"I'm glad to hear that your bag is safe though, Suzumeda. I was already getting worried that it might have been my fault if something had happened to it."  
Shifting her gaze from Bokuto to you, a grin formed on the manager's lips. "You tend to overthink things a lot, don't you, (L/N)?"  
She patted your back with her hand.  
You had always assumed that Yukie would be the more observant one out of both.  
But if even Kaori noticed it, you probably must have been bad at hiding it.

Yukie stepped closer. "More than that, (L/N)..."  
She paused for a while as she took notice of the sheet of paper you were still holding in your hand. "Is that an application form for our club...?"  
At her pointing that out, Kaori froze. You noticed how the gazes of your upperclassmen were now all on you.  
You let out a small chuckle that probably sounded a bit helpless. "Yeah... It is."

Hearing that, Bokuto basically jumped at you, placing his hands on your shoulders. "You're gonna be a player in our team?!"  
You saw eyes were gleaming before Kaori pushed him away from you. "Personal space, Bokuto, personal space!"  
Hearing this from the girl who didn't even hold back to grab your wrists and shoulders, two days before, almost felt ironic.  
But it made you know that Kaori had realized her past mistakes and how uncomfortable she had made you feel, with them.

"Yeah, else you're gonna scare her off again, like yesterday," Komi added. "Also she's not allowed to be a player in our team since she's a girl, idiot."  
You could have sworn that Bokuto almost looked a bit sad hearing that. "Right, I forgot about that..."  
You furrowed your eyebrows.  
'He forgot that I was... Female?'

You tried your best to brush it off as you cleared your throat.  
"But yeah, I will be joining the team as manager."  
You noticed the way Yukie looked at you. Her expression was a mix of surprise and uncertainty. Maybe even a dash of guilt.  
"You're going to join...?"

If Yukie was completely honest with herself, she still couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt about what had happened. She felt responsible for having pushed you to come to practice, even though you had clearly stated your dislike of Volleyball.  
And she had felt responsible for when you had run out of the gym, seemingly overwhelmed with the moment.  
She wouldn't have been surprised if you'd hate her, and yet here you were, saying that you want to apply for the team.  
While this made her incredibly happy and relieved, your sudden change of heart also confused her, especially not knowing about your morning encounter with Bokuto.

Kaori on the other hand had remembered how your eyes gleamed when talking about Volleyball. She also couldn't forget how you were able to react so quickly when saving Yukie from the ball, the day before. So while she also was left wondering at your sudden change of heart, she also wasn't sure about whether you would actually enjoy being a manager, with you having stated that you used to be a Libero before.

The girl with the ponytail spoke up. "I know there isn't a female Volleyball Club at Fukurodani Academy... But there are plenty of Volleyball clubs outside of school, you could join. You sure you wouldn't prefer joining one of those? Somewhere where you could play like you used to?"

Not knowing about your past experiences with Volleyball, the other team members tensed up. Sarukui spoke up. "Hey, what are you saying, we are in dire need of a manager, aren't we? What will our underclassmen do if they don't have one next year?" 

You found it endearing, how Kaori suggested that to you, even though she had pushed you to become a manager, just a few days before.  
You shook your head. "No, I wouldn't be able to join those."  
Yukie raised an eyebrow at your comment. But before she could ask, you continued.  
"I'm gonna be busy managing the club with you guys, after all."

After saying that it didn't take very long for tears to form in the eyes of the upperclassmen around you.  
Kaori sniffled. "(L/N), can I hug you?"  
You flinched. "H-Huh? Where's that coming from?!"  
Unlike her friend, Yukie wasn't even able to hold back and just threw her arms around you. "(L/N), I'm so happy to hear that!"  
Kaori soon followed suit.

Not sure how to react to the two girls suddenly embracing you, you just awkwardly patted their backs with your hands.  
Komi and Sarukui also seemed to wipe away small tears. "Thank you, (L/N)! And welcome to the Fukurodani Volleyball club!"  
You let out a soft laugh at their statement, still patting the backs of the two managers. "Don't thank me yet, I have yet to fill out the application. And also..."

You glanced at Bokuto, who was watching you with a small pout.  
'You should thank your captain, not me,' is what you wanted to add to your sentence.  
But you stayed quiet.  
By the way how a smile slowly made its way back to the ace's lips, you somewhat figured that he knew.  
Then again, considering how he always smiled like that, you couldn't really tell. It just reminded you of a thought you had already had in the morning.

Just how could a person shine so stupidly bright?

Almost as if your fates were intertwined, you kept on bumping into each other, whether you wanted it or not. And whenever you did, the thing you always least expected to happen, actually happened. This may have made you anxious for what else was going to happen in the future, as you were becoming the team's manager.

But it also made you excited, in a way you haven't felt about something in quite a while.


	8. Heart's Treasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The western gym hall. The day before, (Y/N) had been standing there, unsure of why she even appeared in first place. She had been anxious and terrified.  
> Today was a different day. It was only a difference of 24 hours and yet the feelings she had at that moment were completely different.  
> Of course she still felt anxious. However, she also felt excited. Excited, anticipating, elated. And maybe also a bit unsure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had planned to post this on Bokuto's birthday, but life got busy so here we are :/  
> Still hoping that you're able to enjoy this chapter!

"Keiji, you're going to be late if you don't hurry up!"

The raven haired boy stood in his room, half dressed as his mother called out to him. He had a thermometer in his hand, that showed him a slightly increased temperature on its display. He exhaled deeply.

If someone would have to describe Akaashi, they would probably say that he was a calm and collected. While this may be true, it also had to be noted that Akaashi was very earnest and had a strong sense of duty. These traits, however, sometimes clashed against each other. While the young man always seemed calm, he also felt anxious a lot.  
Many people weren't able to tell this, though. So the more surprised he was, the first time Bokuto had exactly pinpointed how he felt.

At first glance, people might think that Bokuto was a devil-may-care kind of person who was probably rather airheaded. And it was not hard to understand why. However, it didn't take very long for Akaashi to realize how much in the wrong these people actually were. To him, Bokuto was an enigma.  
The ace was very perceptive and able to deal with certain situations in a game with ease. But he was also very simpleminded and direct.  
While Bokuto was able to understand Akaashi, Akaashi was still trying to understand Bokuto. Which was - no matter how simpleminded the captain seemed - definitely not simple.  
But in an attempt to do so, both formed some kind of mutual respect for each other and thus, a probably rather unlikely friendship.

So when Bokuto had asked his setter to join him for a morning run, Akaashi didn't think much of it. And despite knowing how much energy his friend had, he had still tried his best to keep up, actually not taking notice of the early spring morning chill.  
However, he must have underestimated it, as of the current moment, he felt his nose grow stuffy and his head being lighter than usual.

He opened his door to call out to his mother.  
"I caught a cold. I think I'll have to stay at home."

Akaashi thought back to how you were standing in front of him and Bokuto that morning, running off with with the big Malamute and a rather relieved expression on your face, while Bokuto was standing there, proudly with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

'Too bad,' he thought. 'I was somewhat looking forward to practice.'

***

"(Y/N)."

Soon after the fire department had entered and searched through the several school buildings, they were able to de-escalate the situation by confirming that there has not been a fire in any of them.  
You've heard some teachers talking about how it must have been a prank by a student, they were however clueless as to who it could have been (little did they know it was not a prank but much rather a not very well thought out situation caused by the captain of the Volleyball club).

"(Y/N)!"

And thus, here you were, back in the school building, eating lunch with your friend, Shira.  
And while you were sitting in front of her, mindlessly staring at the Melon Bread you had bought at the school's cafeteria, you were trying to think of a way to confess to her about how you were going to join the Volleyball club.  
How would she react? Surely she would be surprised, you thought. She has been pressuring you to join a club and meet new people for quite a while already. And every single time you had told her that you wouldn't be joining one. So suddenly doing so would probably leave her wondering as to how you suddenly changed your mind, right? And if Shira asked that, it would only make things more complicated, as you haven't even told her about how you used to play Volleyball in Middle School. So how should you approach this situation?

"Hello? Earth to (Y/N)!"  
You flinched and noticed how Shira was waving her hand in front of your eyes, in a desperate attempt to catch your attention. "Uh... Yes, what's up?"  
Your friend raised an eyebrow while stuffing an egg roll in her mouth. "What's up? You've been zoned out for like three solid minutes. Did something happen during the fire alarm?"

You thought back to the group of upperclassmen you had met and had to hold back a snicker.  
Noticing how you didn't reply, Shira continued. "Also there's someone looking for you. Poor guy's been waiting at the door while I was trying to wake you from your daydream."  
You tensed up and glanced to the doorway. You weren't quite sure why but part of you kind of expected it to be the third year Volleyball captain. However, upon seeing one of your classmates instead you almost found yourself disappointed (though if someone had asked, you wouldn't have be able to explain as to why you felt that way).

You stood up from your chair. "Sorry Shira, I'll be right back."  
A small "Yeah yeah" came from her, before she continued to eat her lunchbox while you walked to the classmate who's patiently been waiting for you.

You never really cared for your classmates. In fact, you didn't even know most of their names. If it weren't for the fact that the guy waiting at the door frame for you, hadn't been the one who was sitting in front of you in class, you probably wouldn't even have been able to identify him as your classmate.

"Uhm... What's up?"  
You felt your palms get sweaty. The uncertainty of what this had been about, made you feel a bit anxious. And you had all reason to be.  
"Ito-sensei told me to let you know that he would like to meet you in the teachers' office."  
You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach, upon hearing the name of the literature teacher you kind of despised. "Did he say what it's about?"  
Your classmate scratched the back of his head. "He mentioned something about homework, so I'm guessing he wants you to turn yours in. You know, since we had to turn it in when we got back to the classroom after the fire alarm."

You didn't know. You only knew how you stormed off into the next classroom where the next period would begin, right after you got back in the school building.  
A sigh made its way past your lips. "Okay... Thanks for letting me know."  
Your classmate nodded, before heading off.  
You made your way back to Shira, explaining your current situation to her, to which she just had to laugh.

"Anyways... If I don't return before lunch ends, you can feel free to organize my funeral."  
You grabbed your bag. It felt nice to have it back.  
Shira snickered at your remark. "Sure, hun. But in return..." She lifted her head to look you directly into your eyes with an unusually serious expression on her face. "Ya gotta tell me later what you have been daydreaming about, okay?" A wide grin soon formed on her lips.  
You tensed up. It really was impossible for you to hide something from Shira, wasn't it?

You readjusted the handles of the bag on your shoulder, before replying. "Dead men tell no tales, Muffin. Gonna go now."  
You waved at her one last time before leaving the classroom. And after that it didn't take very long for another dose of anxiety to hit you in your stomach.

How would you explain to your literature teacher that you didn't finish the homework? Should you try to find an excuse? But what kind of excuse? While your neighbor's Malamute did enjoy to eat, he never even once considered eating your homework (which you had tested out several times before).  
So what would you tell Ito?

'In the end telling him the truth might be the easiest,' you thought, now standing in front of the teachers' office. 'Fat chance that he would let me off the hook that easily though.'  
You knocked on the door.  
Seconds later it opened, with Ito standing in front of you, holding a mug of presumably coffee in his hand. "Oh, (L/N)-san! Perfect, you came sooner than I had expected."  
You weren't quite sure how to respond to that

"Ito-sensei, about the homework..."  
Before taking another sip of coffee, he cut you off. "Oh, come in. There was something I wanted to talk to you about anyways."  
Your brain short-circuited. Something he wanted to talk about? Thinking of how strict of a teacher Ito was, your anxiety only rose. Still, you somehow managed to follow him to his desk, trying to not make it obvious that your knees felt like pudding.  
He offered you a seat before sitting down in front of you, himself. His eyes shifted to your hands as you were fumbling with your fingers.

Ito placed his cup on the desk beside him. "What do you want to do after graduating, (L/N)-san?"  
Your eyebrows involuntarily furrowed in uncertainty of how to feel about that question, as it caught you rather off guard. "What I want to do... After graduating...?"  
The teacher in front of you nodded.  
So far you had only known the strict, and even a little bit angry expression on his face, so it kind of surprised you to see a rather calm, relaxed one instead.

"Is that why you called me here, sir? As far as I know... That is a question that rather concerns third years, isn't it?"  
You were a bit taken aback by the rather bold statement you had just given your teacher. Perhaps you felt rather courageous this day, for an unknown reason.  
Ito placed his hand on the desk, tapping on it with his index finger.

"'Senior year. And then life. Maybe that's the way it worked. High School was just a prologue to the real novel. Everybody got to write you - but when you graduated, you got to write yourself. At graduation you got to collect your teacher's pens and your parents' pens and you got your own pen. And you could do all the writing.'"  
You froze at the paragraph the teacher had just cited. He continued.  
"That's from the book 'Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe'. It's been rather popular lately, especially amongst young folks. Have you heard of it?"  
You shook your head. You weren't one for literature and books. At least not in this universe.

Ito lifted his arm from the desk, resting his head on his hand while reaching for his mug with the other. "Figures."  
He took a sip of his coffee as you tried to hold back your face from showing even the slightest hint of how insulted you felt for some reason.  
"So about the homework, uh..." you attempted to continue nonetheless, only to be cut off, soon.  
"What I mean, (L/N)-san, is that your homeroom teacher asked me to consult you about this issue."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Again.  
Your gaze wandered to the desk nearby, where you saw your homeroom teacher eating a sandwich. Upon meeting eyes with her, she flinched and hid behind a stack of books on her desk.  
She has always been rather timid. If it weren't for the fact her lessons were easy to follow and understand, she'd almost be rather unfitting for the job as a teacher. Still, you wouldn't have expected her to actually reach out to another teacher to consult you. Was it because you had known Ito since first year of High School?

"What exactly do you mean with 'this issue', sir?"  
Ito sighed at your question, as if it should have been an obvious matter to you.  
Scratching the back of his head, he tried to think of a way to explain the current situation to you. "You see, it has come to our attention that you seem to lack motivation."  
When Ito saw you raising an eyebrow, he quickly continued. "Don't get me wrong. Your grades aren't bad. Though of course they could be better. Especially in literature. I see a lot of potential in your essays, though they lack a certain... Something."

The teacher placed the cup on the desk. "What I'm saying is, that you could be a lot better if you put more effort into what you're doing... Or maybe if you found something you're passionate about. That factor will be very important when trying to find what you want to do after graduation, too."

Ito placed his palms on his legs and straightened his back. "You're in a college prepping course class, too. Do you plan to go to college, (L/N)-san?"  
You lowered your gaze to your lap, where your fingers were still fumbling around restlessly. "I don't know..."  
It was an honest answer. So far you haven't really thought about what you would like to do in the future.  
You had always thought that eventually you'd have an idea. But so far that hasn't happened.  
You thought back to when a club member in Middle School had asked you whether you wanted to become a professional Volleyball player. It was true that you felt passionate about Volleyball at that time. But you never really thought of playing professionally either. Rather, it almost scared you if you were being honest with yourself.

Ito sighed. "I thought so..."  
It annoyed you a bit to hear him say that. But considering how you never really felt excited about his lessons either, it was no surprise.  
The teacher reached for his bag and pulled out a book, before handing it to you. The cover read "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coelho.  
You looked at Ito, who gestured for you to take the book. You hesitated, but still took it from his hands.  
"As your teacher, I think it is one of my jobs to help you find something you're passionate about. And how else would I do that, but by making you read my favorite book!"

You stared at Ito, not sure how to respond. Was this a punishment for you forgetting the homework?  
"It's about a young man, learning about how important it is to dream, and to follow that dream. Maybe you can learn from him. And maybe it can also poke your interest in literature. At least that's what it did for me, when I was younger."  
Your gaze shifted to the cover of the book, that was colored in bright orange and yellow hues. The edges of the cover looked worn out and the ink on it was slightly faded.

"It would be nice if you could finish it until the end of the semester and tell me your thoughts about it."  
How long has it been since you had actually taken your time to read a book? Probably far too long. When you were younger, around third grade, you used to enjoy casually reading something every once in a while. But as time went on, you had forgotten about it. Literature in school was already intimidating enough, so you had just stopped at some point without even realizing it.

"So basically you're just giving me an additional book to read, along with the one we are reading in class?"  
Ito laughed. It was actually the first time you had seen him do that. "Basically, yes. But it's for your sake. Some books can truly change you as a person. Even help you find what you like and motivate you to achieve your goals."  
You saw how his expression grew nostalgic, if you could take a guess, you'd probably say that he was remembering something from his youth.

"You've got extra time anyways, since you don't have any club activities, correct?"  
You weren't able to answer. Would it be a bad time for you to admit that you were actually planning on applying as manager for the Volleyball club, just that exact same day?  
"And speaking of extra time, about the homework-"

Before he could continue, the door to the teachers' office swung open as the man of the hour stepped into the room, with two bottles of orange juice in each hand. Yamiji Takeyuki, the coach of the Volleyball team. The gray haired man with glasses, rushed to a desk where his colleague was sitting. Both exchanged a short conversation, as the coach frustatedly set the bottles on his colleague's table and readjusted his glasses. At that moment he looked up and met your eyes. He smiled and waved at you.  
You hesitated a bit, before waving back.

When turning your head back to Ito, you saw how baffled he was.  
Yet another expression you had never seen on the face of the usually very strict teacher that was sitting in front of you. "You know Coach Yamiji?"  
Now you couldn't really be able to keep it a secret anymore. "Yes... I visited the Volleyball club's practice yesterday."

With his eyes still wide, Ito stared daggers into you. By now you should probably be used to it. "Do you plan on applying for the Volleyball Club?"  
You shrugged with your shoulders. "I mean... Yeah. They were in need for a manager, so..."

Even though he would probably never admit it, Ito felt a sense of relief wash over him.  
The fact that you always lacked energy and motivation in his lessons was one thing. But it was a whole other issue that you, as your homeroom teacher had described it, seemed to have nothing to be passionate about.  
But you, actually applying for a club already felt like a big step to Ito. He couldn't hold back a soft smile, which only gave you goosebumps and made you hold back a shudder.

"I'm glad."

You weren't sure what to make of that sentence. Glad about what? Just because you joined the Volleyball team didn't mean, that you would magically know what you would like to do after you graduated, would it?

Ito was able to read your confused expression, as he soon tried to explain, "I teach students. Obviously. But each and every student I teach is a person. An own individual with own dreams and aspirations. And as a teacher it is nice to watch your students grow. Even if it's just by joining a club."  
You were quite surprised to hear that from a teacher who had a tendency to beat up your desk with his books.  
You looked back at cover of the book he had given you. Maybe that's why it looked so worn out...

"Oh, if you're busy with club activities, then you of course don't have to read the book."  
You almost instantly shook your head. "No, I'll read it."  
You weren't quite sure yourself, why you said that. Perhaps it was because of how baffled you were about how concerned your teachers actually were about you, without you even having been aware of it, before. Or perhaps the vivid colors on the book cover somewhat enticed you into taking a look into the contents of the book.

Ito exhaled softly. "Alright. Be sure to keep that copy safe then. It's the only one I got."  
He paused before leaning back into his chair and changing the topic. "The Volleyball club, huh."  
He placed an index finger on his chin.  
You noticed how his gaze shifted, first to your knees, that were covered in band aids to hide the turf burns you had gotten the day before, then back at you.  
"Isn't Akaashi Keiji from class six also a member of it?"

You raised your head, remembering the pretty raven haired boy you had just seen that morning before school started. "Yes, he is."  
Mr Ito's expression brightened up as he nodded in an approving manner, with his arms crossed in front of his chest.  
"Akaashi-kun's a great student. Very diligent. Also seems to have an interest in literature."  
You raised an eyebrow, actually a bit amazed at how Akaashi got a strict teacher like Ito to think that highly of him. 

"He wasn't in class today. Do you happen to know anything about that, (L/N)-san?"  
You thought back to when you had met him along with Bokuto on their morning run.  
That morning was rather cold, so it would make sense if he actually caught a cold, you thought.  
"Not really..."  
You didn't want to make a statement about the condition of a person you had just met for the first time the day before.

Ito turned to his desk, fishing out a few sheets of paper from his folder. "Actually, could you maybe give him these?"  
He handed them to you. "They're exercise sheets. Nobody in his class seemed to be close enough to him, to be willing to give them to him."  
You were a bit taken aback.  
Maybe you and Akaashi weren't that different after all, you thought for a second. "Sure, I can do that."

You barely knew him, but you already weirdly sympathized with him, accepting the sheets Ito handed to you.  
Surely you would be able to ask Bokuto to give them to Akaashi later. They seemed close, after all.  
"Thank you, (L/N)-san. That's all for today. Sorry for interrupting your break."  
You shook your head while packing the sheets, along with the book Ito had given you, into your bag. "No, not at all. Thank you for the talk, Ito."

You grabbed your bag and slightly bowed at the teacher who was waving at you.  
"Oh, by the way, (L/N)-san."  
Before you could leave the office, he called out to you one more time.  
You turned around to face the teacher who now had the usual grumpy looking expression on his face, as if nothing had happened.

"I'd still like that homework that was actually due today, in the next lesson."  
You sighed.  
Up until now you had almost forgotten how much you disliked literature.

***

_"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?" the boy asked.  
"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you will find your treasure."_

You were in front of the western gym hall.  
Just like the day before, you seemed to arrive rather early, leaving you sitting and waiting at the doorstep.  
Curious about the book your literature teacher had given you at lunch, you had gotten it out of your bag to open up a random page and catch a glimpse inside of it. 

Your eyes halted at the quote you had just read, before analyzing the rest of the page.  
You had somewhat imagined the book to be written in a far more complicated fashion. Especially considering how it was the favorite book of your literature teacher.  
This probably also was the reason as to why you weren't interested in books. At least not at the moment.  
The ones you had to read in school were always written, as if they had been intended to give the average reader a hard time.  
Too much analysis. What happened to reading a book because you enjoyed it for its story, rather than having to decrypt it? 

You closed the book once again to inspect the brightly colored cover. It didn't take long for your eyes to shift and notice how the corner of a paper sheet was sticking out of your bag.  
Remembering how you had just previously stuffed it into your bag, you knew it was the filled out application for the Volleyball club. 

Yesterday you had been standing here, unsure of why you even appeared in first place. You had been anxious and terrified.  
Today was a different day. It was only a difference of 24 hours and yet the feelings you had were completely different.  
Of course you still felt anxious. However, you also felt excited. Excited, anticipating, elated. And maybe also a bit unsure.

_"But I asked whether **you** enjoyed Volleyball."_

But there also was this weird sense of calmness, along with the smallest drop of determination to begin from anew. 

"'Because wherever your heart is, that is where you will find a treasure'..." you repeated the quote you had just read from the book that was still on your lap.  
Your eyes shifted to your knees. You stretched out your legs to inspect the band aids.  
The familiar burning sensation you had felt on them yesterday was gone. But you still remembered how you felt, sitting on the wooden floor.  
It was similar to what you felt right now. Even though yesterday, those feelings had been washed away right after realization hit you in the face. 

'Wherever my heart is...?' 

"Mochi, you're early!"  
You raised your head, seeing a familiar figure walking towards you. His spiky hair, solid build and wide smile didn't make it very hard for you to immediately recognize the captain of the Volleyball club.  
You stared at him in silence as he now stood in front of you.  
You remembered a similar situation from the day before. Except today there was no Akaashi standing beside Bokuto. 

So you really didn't mishear before, when meeting on the sports ground during the fire alarm.  
This guy really _did_ call you Mochi, the name of your neighbor's dog. He must have picked it up in the morning.  
"You do realize that my name isn't Mochi?"  
You put the book that was still on your lap back into your bag, careful not to crumble the application form in it, that was still waiting to be taken out and given to the managers of the club. 

Bokuto tilted his head to the side, visibly confused. It almost reminded you of an owl.  
"It... It isn't?"  
You grabbed the handles of your bag, before standing up and brushing the dirt off your uniform skirt. "You must have mixed it up with the name of my neighbor's dog. I walked him this morning, remember?"  
You felt your lips form into a grin.  
This was rather untypical for you. Since when have you grown so soft towards the guy you had just held a grudge against the day before? Or was it just because the picture of the cute and fluffy Malamute gave you an instant kick of Serotonin? 

"Or why would I be named after some kind of soft rice dessert?"  
Bokuto raised an eyebrow, placing his index finger on his chin. "I don't know, I thought it kind of suits you."  
You scoffed, before meeting the ace's gaze. "It fits? How?" 

You actually were genuinely curious about that.  
Mochi the Malamute has been named after the dessert, because of how the thick, fluffy fur on him had reminded Sato of Mochi balls.  
So what exactly would Bokuto mean, when saying that the name fits to y- 

_Squish_

Before you even knew, you felt a finger poking around on your cheek.  
It belonged to the boy in front of you, his expression as if he were deep in thought while mushing around the skin on your face. You froze.  
He finally pulled his finger away and then nodded to himself with a grin, as if he had just confirmed his assumption. "Looks and feels pretty soft to me. Like Mochi." 

You placed your palm onto your cheek (you almost wondered whether it was really that soft, but you held back from squishing it yourself).  
If it were for a scene in a RomCom, you would be blushing wildly right now, however, at the moment you were just confused, almost weirded out at the sight of the young man in front of you who was now laughing to himself and going on about how he now understood as to why the dog you were walking that morning was called Mochi, "too". 

"(L/N)!"  
Yet another voice that called out to you. This time, with your actual name.  
You and Bokuto saw the two managers walking up to you. You waved at them, with a smile.  
"Oh, your name! (L/N), that's what it was!"  
You turned to Bokuto, whose expression lightened up. "Sorry. Akaashi also keeps on correcting me because I'm not that good with names."  
The young man scratched the back of his head, before his smile widened. "I'll try to remember it!" (He definitely would. Try, at least.)  
Perhaps you would forgive Bokuto, even if he didn't. Just because you were bad with names, too. 

"It's nice to see you here!"  
Yukie stepped in front of you with a warm smile. You felt somewhat relieved not seeing a worried expression on her face, like she did previously.  
As much as you at first disliked the idea of joining the Volleyball club, you didn't want her to blame herself for forcing you into something you didn't want. Your previous dislike against the sport hasn't been her fault, after all.  
Kaori followed behind her friend, a happy expression plastered on her face. You smiled at the sight of both of the girls.

Your hand wandered to the inside of your bag, carefully tugging out a sheet of paper. The application form.  
You had filled it out during lessons, as soon as you had your bag back.  
Though of course you didn't want to admit in what kind of hurry you had filled it out, almost as if had you been too slow, you would have missed the opportunity to do so.  
Bokuto watched as hand the paper to both of the managers.  
"Here. This is for you, I assume?" Your eyes met Yukie's. 

Her expression showed a hint of surprise. As if she couldn't believe what she was witnessing.  
But soon her smiled returned, even warmer than it was before. "Yes. Thank you, (L/N)!"  
You noticed how Kaori watched her red headed friend take the paper from your hand, teary eyed, and in a manner as if she was holding back from hugging you again.  
She nodded and repeated after Yukie, "Thank you, (L/N)!" 

Yukie looked over your application, before she lifted her head, holding up a key that was dangling from her finger. "Let's open up the gym then, shall we?"  
Kaori behind her grinned. "True, true, there's a lot we have to teach you as new manager" 

With the three of you standing next to each other, you didn't see Bokuto, who was mulling to himself with his chin between his thumb and index finger. 

_"I feel like you will be able to challenge our new manager very soon."_

His head soon raised, with eyes wide as he has come to the conclusion of understanding what his friend had meant that morning. "Whoa, Akaashi is amazing!"  
You turned your head towards Bokuto, who, now that he realized that the door was opened, swiftly rushed past you through the door.  
Kaori caught a glimpse of the confused expression you had on your face. "He does that a lot. Speaks whatever's on his mind, without any context. You'll get used to it."  
You raised an eyebrow. Would you really? (You would.) 

"More importantly..."  
Yukie and Kaori stepped into the gym hall.  
As if, they had practiced it at some point, both almost sung out the next sentence in sync.  
"Welcome to the Fukurodani Volleyball club!"  
Bokuto, already on the Volleyball field with a ball in his hands, looked back at you, smile widening as your eyes met. 

Middle School was definitely the time you discovered more about what you liked and what you didn't like. But it also was the time which made you turn against the things you did like.  
However, you were in High School now. And this would be the time in which you would pick up on what you liked again, with a new sense of determination, given to you by a certain golden eyed boy. It would be the time in which you would find where your heart really was. 

You stepped into the gym. 


	9. Golden Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jacket from (Y/N)'s times as Libero in Middle School was still hanging in her wardrobe, hidden in a corner where she wouldn't be able to see it.  
> (Y/N) was sure that its vibrant red color had already faded.  
> But for once it didn't matter.

"We welcome you as manager of the Fukurodani Volleyball team!" Yamiji announced as the team excitedly bowed down in front of you.  
"Please take take care of us!"  
You fumbled with your fingers, a bit intimidated by the boys in front of you.  
You turned your head to Yukie and Kaori who were standing behind you. They smiled and nodded, before you turned your head back to the team in front of you.

The coach was beside Bokuto, both standing upright with their arms crossed in front of their chests and smiling.  
Upon noticing that the captain hadn't bowed down along with the rest of the team, Yamiji grabbed his head and pushed it down.  
You held back a snicker.  
"Likewise." There was a small pause before you continued. "Let's... Let's work hard together."  
You bowed in front of the team.

'Let's work hard together,' is usually easy to say. But for some reason you stuttered.  
That was because you couldn't shake off the memory you had of only ending up disappointed at some point.  
The fear of going on all alone, without anyone following behind.  
And at that moment you remembered your former self. Your Middle School You and how she has grown cold towards what she used to love.  
Perhaps she just didn't want to get hurt again, which is why she made you feel the way you felt at the moment. 

Right now, you barely remembered what she thought back then, though. 

At least you tried not to.  
Only she should know what she felt. 

And you would try your best to leave it at that.

Yamiji nodded before clapping his hands. "That much being said, time for warm up!"  
You heard a few club members groan. Still, they didn't hesitate and followed their captain to run laps around the gym.

Yukie walked ahead, stepping further into the gym and picking up a bag that was laying on the side of the court.  
"While the boys warm up, Kaori and I usually go fill up the bottles and prepare the towels. This gym is mostly used for Volleyball, so luckily there's always at least one field already all set up."

Kaori took the bag with the water bottles from Yukie and smiled at you. "Let's go (L/N), I'll show you where to fill up the water bottles!"  
You turned your head to Yukie one more time, before nodding. "Yeah, I'm coming!"

Being the manager of a Volleyball team had never occurred in your mind even once. Mainly because you were either only focused on rather playing Volleyball, or avoiding it as if it were the plague.  
Thus, you had never really thought about the work behind the scenes.  
How the managers of your former team not only prepped water bottles and towels, but also organized practice matches, and worked hard to receive sponsorship for your team had never occurred to you. In a way, they were the backbone of a Volleyball team, you thought.  
Though you had never realized it before.  
Nor had you thought you'd become a manager yourself.

Kaori led you outside, beside the gym to fill up the bottles.  
While you helped her, she explained to you several aspects of being a manager of a powerhouse team like Fukurodani was, and how at times it can be tiring even though in the end it was all worth it.  
You mindlessly nodded along, while watching the water stream out of the faucet into the bottle.

"Suzumeda..." Kaori closed the bottle in her hand and placed it back into the bag, before grabbing the next one.  
She must have noticed that you looked a bit troubled. Your eyebrows scrunched up and your eyes were wandering around.  
After a long pause you continued. "Do you think it's weird I joined?" 

You saw her eyebrows raise.  
"I mean, uhm... Especially after what happened yesterday. Sorry about that, by the way! I didn't mean to leave so suddenly but at that time it almost felt like my body moved on its own and I couldn't help myself, you guys must have been really confused and I-" You were cut off my Kaori laughing.

"That was probably the most I heard you talk, since we met, (L/N)!" 

Your hand clenched around the bottle in your hand.  
Kaori turned off the faucet and kneeled down to put the bottle she had just filled up, into the bag.  
She looked up to you and reached out, gesturing for you to give her the bottle that you were still holding onto. You handed it to her.

"Sure, we were surprised about what happened yesterday. Though most of the team probably still thinks that it was Bokuto who scared you away."  
She giggled to herself when zipping the bag close.  
"Everyone can have a change of heart at some point. And while I am curious about the reason behind yours, I won't ask you to tell me, if you don't want to." 

Kaori straightened back up and swung the bag with the bottles over her shoulder.  
You were amazed at how easy she made it look, considering how heavy the bag must have been with several filled up water bottles inside.  
"Maybe when the time comes you will eventually tell us why you changed your mind. I'll just try not to die out of curiosity until then."  
The corner of her lips curl upward, into a boyish grin. "But for now we are just happy to have you. So stop overthinking so much, okay?"

You sighed. 'Well that's easier said than done...'

Kaori walked ahead, back to the gym with you following her. Arriving back, Yukie was already waiting for you with a lazy smile and her arms tucked behind her back. 

"Actually it's perfect you decided to join us today, (L/N)!"  
When stopping right in front of you, you glanced one last time at Kaori who was now arranging the bottles in the side of the court while humming.  
You turned back to Yukie, her smile seeming even cheekier than it was just a few seconds before.

"Is that so...?" You weren't exactly sure how to respond to her.  
She nodded, before revealing what she's been hiding behind her back: a neatly folded, white jersey, with black and golden details adorning the backside. "Fukurodani" was stitched on it in golden letters.  
You hesitated before taking the jacket.

This whole scene reflected in your eyes like a big déjà vu. It brought you back to the time you had officially joined the Volleyball club in Middle School.  
Except this time, the jersey you held in your hands was white, not red like your previous one was.  
And this time, you would not be standing on the court, but only next to it.

"Kaori and me almost finished looking through the applications, yesterday. That means that next week the new members will finally be joining for training! We ordered a few new jerseys and they arrived just today! Which is actually unusually early."  
You traced along the embroidery with your fingers before looking back up at Yukie, who was giggling. "That's probably a good omen, right?"

You almost can't help but also smile. It was as if your upperclassman's mood was contagious. "Perhaps," you mumbled under your breath, almost too quiet for Yukie to hear. But still she did, just like her blonde friend, who was secretly eavesdropping on you while pretending to be busy with the bottles.

Yukie placed her hands on her sides.  
"You can just pair the jacket up with the rest of the school's track uniform. So be sure to bring that with you, next time. Kaori and I will show you where the dressing rooms are, later."  
She stepped back off, returning to her preparations. "With all the stray balls flying around, it would be best to wear clothes in which you can move around easily, no?" 

You saw her catch a glimpse of the band aids on your knees, before turning around with a sly smile still plastered on her lips.  
You huffed, laughing under your breath. "You may be right."

***

The jacket you still had from your times as Libero in Middle School was hanging somewhere deep in your wardrobe, where you wouldn't be able to see it.  
You were sure that its vibrant red color had already faded.  
But for once it didn't matter.

***

Even though you had already expected it in a way, being a manager turned out to be a lot more work than you thought.  
Besides filling up bottles, and preparing other utensils like towels and bibs, they were also responsible for finding sponsorship opportunities, organizing practice matches and ordering new uniforms for newcomers.  
Additionally they sometimes had to help out at practice and work out new game strategies with the team and the coach.  
All in all, it was a lot of work. But it was something you could get used to, you thought, rather than procrastinating at home (no, in fact it was definitely better than being in your room and staring at the ceiling in hopes to eventually become one with your bed).

And soon your first day as a manager also ended.  
You were picking up the last few stray balls that were laying spread out in the gym, while the other two managers were getting changed back to their school uniforms. 

Picking up the last ball, you caught a glimpse of a person with monochrome colored hair hush past the opened door of the gym.  
"Ah, Bokuto!"  
Only second later, you saw the head pop back and look through the door with a startled expression. You stepped closer.  
"Hey hey hey (L/N), what's up? Want to play?" The corners of Bokuto's lips curled upwards. (How was it that he still seemed so full of energy despite it being after practice?)  
You noticed that he must have come to that conclusion because of the ball you were still holding onto.

The ace had already asked you when practicing whether you wanted to join the game, as they were missing a person anyways with Akaashi being sick.  
You had politely declined the offer.  
While it had been true that you were tempted to play, you were simply too busy helping Kaori and Yukie.  
Not only that, but you also would risk getting new turf burns considering the fact how you didn't have a track uniform with you.

"No, uh... Actually I wanted to ask whether you knew where Akaashi lived."  
This seemed to perk Bokuto's interest. "Oh?"  
His tone was rather suggestive when his grin turned into more of a smirk while raising an eyebrow. 

You let out a sigh.  
"It's not what you think. Ito-sensei, our literature teacher asked me whether I could bring Akaashi some notes he missed out on today. No one in his class knew where he lived and I remembered that you seemed pretty close, so I thought I could ask you."  
His other eyebrow also lifted and the smirk on his lips formed into a small o.  
It amused you a bit, how easy it was to read the surprised expression off the captain's face. "Oh."

You popped the ball in your hands into the cart, that was standing beside the entrance. "Yeah... Uh... So do you know?"  
Bokuto nodded the omnipresent smile on his lips reappearing again. "Sure, I can give them to him."

'That was not really what I asked, but...'  
The idea of not having to go to the house of a person who was basically a stranger to you, and thus also being able to avoid a potentially very awkward meeting, made you feel relieved.  
You smiled. "That would be great, thank you! I'll get them, give me a second!"

You pushed the cart filled with the balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag that was still laying on the side of the court.  
Bokuto watched as you fumbled around in it before pulling out several paper sheets and handing them to him.  
He stared at them before finally taking them off your hands.

It was unusually quiet. You hadn't known Bokuto for very long, but you knew for sure that it usually wasn't very quiet around him.  
"Is... Is something wrong?" You tilted your head to the side.  
Still with the paper sheets in his hand, Bokuto spoke up. "Are you headed to the train station?"

You blinked once, twice. Bokuto's smile never disappeared.  
You glanced outsite. The sun was setting.  
While having company on the way to the train station, didn't seem like a bad idea, you had to internally cringe at the thought of how awkward it would turn out to be. Or would it?  
Bokuto seemed like a rather talkative person, so perhaps he would do the talking, while you did the listening.  
Still, it surprised you a bit.

"I am, but I have to wait for Shirofuku and Suzumeda to come and lock the gym."  
Bokuto was still standing there, paper sheets in his hands. "Oh, I see!" He nodded.  
You stepped out of the gym. There was another wave of awkward silence.  
Your gaze shifted to him, with your head still turned straight ahead. "You can go if you want to, you know... I wouldn't want you to miss your train or something."

Bokuto laughed. "Nah, I'm good. I wanted to talk to you anyways."  
'He did?' You felt your shoulders tense up.  
"You did?" That question slipped out rather quickly. Without any hesitation, he nodded.  
At the same time you heard Kaori call out to you.

"(L/N) you can head home if you want! Yukie and I will finalize some stuff for the newcomers!"  
You turned your head to her. "Are you sure you don't need help?"  
She was standing a few feet away from you and Bokuto. 

"Nah, it's okay." She stepped closer. "Just quickly came by to lock the gym before I head back to the club room."  
Kaori smiled, showing off the key dangling from her finger.  
You exhaled. "I see."

The manager locked the door and turned the doorknob around several times, just to make sure that the door was really locked.  
"Anyways, good job today, both of you. (L/N), I'll be seeing you tomorrow, right?"  
As if she was still a bit unsure whether you actually would reappear again on the following day, you noticed the hint of uncertainty in her voice. 

When you opened your mouth to answer, you heard Bokuto's voice instead. "Of course she will! See ya tomorrow, Kaori- OUCH!"  
In response to Bokuto answering for you, Kaori flicked his forehead.  
"Don't go around, answering for people."  
You covered your mouth with your hand, to hide the grin at the sight of Bokuto rubbing his forehead and pouting as the blonde manager was lecturing him.

"Yes, I'll be there. Don't get home too late, both you and Shirofuku."  
With her hands placed on her hips, she beamed. "Gotcha! Have a good one!"  
With that she walked off, leaving you and the ace behind.  
Even with the throbbing red spot in his forehead, Bokuto pretended like nothing had happened as his pout turned back into a smile.  
It made you wonder whether he was actually smiling or whether that was just how his default expression looked like.  
Both of you left the school premises together.

"Is there something specific you wanted to talk about?"  
Your throat felt a bit dry when starting the conversation. Maybe it was because you weren't used to it.  
But at the moment you just wanted to avoid any more of the awkward silence you had experienced before.  
And while you weren't the best at small talk, this was probably the best point to start.

You swiftly glanced at Bokuto and you were rather surprised to not see a smile in his face, but a rather serious expression instead.  
He looked like he was thinking about something.  
Something serious.

"What kind of dog breed is Mochi?"

Nevermind.  
You didn't know what you had expected anyways.

Bokuto placed an index finger on his chin, while muttering to himself (and also to you).  
"He looked like a Husky, but... Fat."  
You snorted, almost unsure whether you should be offended or not.  
The thought of how the neighbor's dog even had to go through a certain diet in order to maintain his weight, made you feel bad for having to laugh at Bokuto's comment.

"So you think Mochi fat."  
Bokuto flinched. "Oh, I didn't mean to offend your dog! I mean, meat on the bones is always a good thing, but uh, is he okay? He doesn't have a condition or something?!"

You had to snort again at how genuinely worried the captain walking beside you, was.  
In response to you laughing, he only tilted his head to the side, only making him look more like an owl. But in this case it only reminded you of the way Mochi would tilt his head to the side, whenever Sato called out to him.

"He's a Malamute. And he is perfectly fine."  
You exhaled, trying to calm down your laughter before continuing.  
"They are basically the fluffier cousin of the Husky breed. Mochi isn't fat, he just has a lot of fur."

Bokuto placed a hand on his chest, sighing in relief.  
Just seconds after that he straightened back up and smiled. "That makes sense! He was super fluffy when I petted him!"  
You grinned back in agreement. 

"Right? And because of how round and soft the fur on his head makes him look, my neighbor decided to name him Mochi. Like the dessert."  
You had almost forgotten about how worried you were for the walk to the train station to be awkward. If being easy to talk to was a skill, then Bokuto must have mastered it, just like spiking the ball in game, you thought for a second.

"Your neighbor named him?"  
You nodded at his question. "Mochi's my neighbor's dog. I just walk him every now and then."  
The monochrome haired boy beside you hummed. "I see."

It was quiet again. You almost reached the station.  
Bokuto continued. "Are you going to walk him again tomorrow morning?"  
Your mind halted for a second.  
"That... Depends."  
From the corner of your eye you saw Bokuto raise an eyebrow. "Depends on what?"

'Depends on whether you actually plan to invite me for a run in the morning, because by judging how much energy you have, I am sure that I would die if I even tried to keep up, or whether you are just asking me to keep the conversation alive.'

You didn't say that out loud. But you were thinking it was former assumption. 

"If you go on a walk with him tomorrow, we can walk together! You know, since Akaashi's sick."  
Yup. It was former assumption.

By the way how Bokuto beamed, and with _you know, Bokuto just being Bokuto, _you were positive that he had no superior motives behind asking that.  
And you were relieved about that.  
While you did start to enjoy talking to Bokuto (even though a small part in your brain still didn't want to admit it), just alone the thought of having to keep up with him when running made you feel thoroughly exhausted, without even having moved a muscle.__

__Both of you walked through the gates.  
"Are you sure? I don't want to mess up your training regime or something."  
It was a polite way of you trying to decline the offer.  
"Nah, it's all good, I'm sure you'll be able to keep up!"  
Bokuto however, didn't quite recognize it as such.  
It were moments like these that confused you. Because at times the ace was able to read the situation clearly. But on other times, just not at all. _ _

__You sighed. "If you say so... Fine then."  
You gave in. And you already knew that your body would hate you for it.  
Bokuto beamed. "Great! We can meet at the park like this morning!"_ _

__'Like this morning, huh?'  
To you it had almost seemed like an eternity ago. Too much had happened on this day. In fact, ever since meeting Bokuto Koutarou, life had started to become restless. _ _

__You had met him, thinking that you wouldn't cross ways ever again, you watched the Volleyball team's practice, you ran away, you met him in the park in the morning, he convinced you to join the Volleyball team, the fire alarm, you being welcomed as manager, and finally you arriving at the train station with the team's ace._ _

__Thinking about how much actually happened in this single day made your head throb and only then you felt how worn out you actually were. Just a few days ago you would have never expected to end up in your current position. Hell, if it were for a few days ago, you would have even tried to avoid it at all costs.  
But you felt content.  
You felt like you had finally detangled some part of your life's struggles.  
And that's probably what was most important.  
It was thanks to the young man standing im front of you. At least he had given you the final push you needed._ _

__You let out an inaudible sigh before smiling at him with a faint smile. "Sure. See you then."  
You turned, your destination being your train, but you heard the same steps follow you, that had walked with you to the station.  
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw how Bokuto had caught up to you. He didn't say anything, so you just assumed that he would have to take the same train._ _

__Out of nowhere, Bokuto finally nodded, his smile widening. "The name Mochi really does fit!"  
You huffed. While it was really easy to read Bokuto's expressions, it was incredibly hard to read what his mind was going through.  
It only made you conscious about the fact about how little you actually knew about Bokuto, while he seemed to know so much about you, even without you telling him a thing._ _

__The scenario that happened in the morning played out in your head.  
You let out a sigh, this time louder, catching Bokuto's attention as you were standing side by side, waiting for the train._ _

__"I'm sorry."  
He turned his head towards you, but your gaze remained on the tracks in front of you.  
He raised his eyebrows in confusion. "Huh?"  
It took you a bit to finally gather your courage and to look him into the eye.  
"This morning. I said that you wouldn't understand how it is to have a team that doesn't support you."_ _

__At that time you had assumed it to be true.  
But with the day passing it felt like you had treated him unfairly in the morning._ _

__"I'm sorry," you repeated. "I'm sorry for saying something like that despite not knowing anything about you."  
Bokuto shook his head, his smile almost looking sheepish and surprised. "It's okay."  
"No," you said. "It's not."_ _

__Who were you to assume that he wouldn't understand?_ _

__While one half of your brain wanted to shrug the situation off as heat of the moment and you just overthinking again, the other half just wouldn't stop bothering you about it.  
Even if it were the case, even if Bokuto in fact would not be able to understand how you felt, he still was able to say the right things when it mattered.  
And making assumptions without even knowing him, just felt like a very unfair thing to do._ _

__For a split second you could have sworn you saw the most serious expression on Bokuto's face, you had ever seen (ignoring the fact that you had only known him for two days).  
But his smile soon returned, as bright as ever.  
(Does his face never get tired of smiling?)_ _

__"Alright. Apology accepted."_ _

__You felt a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders just with these three simple words._ _

__The train finally arrived and both of you stepped inside.  
It being a few hours past rush hour, the train wasn't as packed as usual, both of you being able to sit down.  
You watched how the train passed by several buildings with the sky being painted in soft pinkish and yellowish hues. The colors of the sky reminded you of the cherry blossoms that were currently in full bloom._ _

__"Oh!" Bokuto almost jumped beside you.  
His head turned to you. "You can make it up to me with a Yakisoba Bread!"  
You were sure that you would never be able to understand what was going through this guy's head._ _

__You smirked. "You already accepted the apology though."  
He looked at you, visibly upset. _ _

__"Wha-! I take it back then!"  
"No take backs accepted."_ _

__The ace grumbled while you made a mental note of grabbing a Yakisoba Bread for him, when you had the time to._ _

__Eventually the train arrived at your station. You were about to say your goodbyes to Bokuto when he also stood up to follow you, through the door._ _

__"I didn't know you actually lived close by."  
Bokuto followed you. "Oh, I don't."  
You halted. "Huh?"  
The young man, nodded. "Akaashi does, though. I think."  
You raised an eyebrow. "'You think'...?"_ _

__'Because clearly by the looks of it, it sometimes really doesn't seem that way.'_ _

__You didn't say the latter part out loud._ _

__"Yeah. Where are we again?"  
You sighed.  
"We're actually about four train stations away from the park. The next train should come in ten minutes, so you can just take that one."  
But Bokuto's brain only seemed to take in the word 'park'. And it showed, as he perked up upon hearing it. (What was he, a dog that enjoyed walks in the park?)_ _

__"That's perfect then. I can just walk there."  
He walked ahead, with you following suit. "Uhm... It's easier to take the train though."_ _

__The route from the park to the train station you were currently at, would take about 30 minutes if you were jogging. And while you had no doubt that Bokuto could make it in less than half the time, you were somewhat worried about him getting lost. Tokyo was a big city after all.  
You passed through the station's gates._ _

__"Nah, it's fine, I'll find my way. Can just ask around in case I get lost. Tokyo never sleeps, anyways."  
He laughed, but this only had you more concerned. 'How late was he planning on staying out, if he says that?'_ _

__"Either way. I'll see you tomorrow then, (L/N)!"  
For someone who had just asked where he actually was, Bokuto walked off rather confidently, as if he just knew the area better that you, yourself.  
He waved at you. "And give Mochi some belly rubs from me!" Saying that, he almost walked into another person. You were almost sure that if Bokuto's raven haired friend had been there, he would lecture him about watching where he's going._ _

__You sighed as you waved back.  
You hoped that Akaashi would be back tomorrow._ _

____

***

"'The Alchemist', huh? That brings me back."  
The book your literature teacher had given you was placed on the dinner table.

"You read it, too?"  
You watched as Sato walked out of the kitchen with a bowl of Miso soup in her hand.  
She placed it on the table and slowly sat down, careful not to strain her joints.  
The former athlete laughed. "Yeah. It's been a while though."  
She paused and you could see her expression soften. "It's a beautiful piece of literature. I am glad your teacher recommended it to you."

You sighed. 'Recommended' was the key word. More like he asked you to read it. And while you had told him you would, you still had mixed feelings about it.

Your gaze wandered from the book, to Mochi who was sitting beside you, looking at you with begging eyes while you slurped down on your Miso soup.  
You were already immune to his pleading gazes. But you couldn't help but look into his golden colored orbs.  
It reminded you of how the Volleyball team's captain had mistaken your name with the one of the Malamute beside you.  
The name that also happened to be a squishy rice dessert.

"Sato-san..."

You caught the elderly woman's attention while still staring into Mochi's puppy eyes.  
"Hm?"

_"I don't know, I thought it kind of suits you." ___

"Do I remind you of Mochi?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all, thank you so much for 1k+ hits and 60+ kudos!!! I am so happy to see that people seem to enjoy this fic, even though I am not exactly the best at writing ;;;;
> 
> Updates will be a bit slower from now on since uni has started again, but I'll try my best not to leave you hanging!  
> Again, thank you so much for your support ;v;  
> Feedback is greatly appreciated!


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